The Art of the Grand Gesture

And What About Those In Steerage

2012-02-10T09:23:00.001-06:00

Would you like to sit down and enjoy the same meal as the doomed First Class passengers of the Titanic?

Sorry, but you're too late to the party.

Noel Loughnane of the Galway-Mayo Institute of Technology dreamed up the dinner recreation as a way to raise money for the RNLI Galway lifeboat.

Times being what they are, with so many cuts to so many worthy causes, Mr. Loughnane realized that a fundraiser was essential. As a lecturer in the culinary arts, he also had the creative energy to dream up a remarkably unique theme. Tickets for the March 21st event were priced at E100 each for the eleven course meal (with appropriate wines), and they sold out in days.

Students in period costume will fill the institute's training restaurant with the right atmosphere, while guests will feast on the same bill of fare as those who consumed salmon with mousseline sauce without knowing it was their last meal.

So that's E6,000 for the lifeboat fund. Considering that the vast majority of the First Class passengers made it into lifeboats, however, I might suggest that GMIT expand the night's offering at a reduced price.

Diners could be accomodated in small classrooms, perhaps, to mimic conditions in steerage, where they would feast on whatever swill was dished out to the lower classes. The price of admission would be commensurate with the lack of luxury, naturally, but cram enough bodies into those cubicles and there's untold profits to be realized. The lifeboat station could be subsidized for the next ten years if Mr. Loughnane organized things like a White Star Line executive.

The many steerage passengers who died for lack of a lifeboat would appreciate the gesture.

Mea Culpa With Crossed Fingers

2012-02-09T09:47:00.003-06:00

Well played, Cardinal Egan.

A bit of confession is truly good for the soul, isn't it? The man in the red hat has declared that he didn't mean it when he apologized for the sex abuse crisis in his Bridgeport, Connecticut, diocese ten years ago.

For feck's sake, it was just because he had to say it or there'd be such an outcry that he'd never have been elevated to cardinal. We can all understand that level of cynicism among those with ambition.

As the Bishop of Bridgeport, he was brilliant. His parishes needed priests of any sort to minister to the flock, and by God he provided them. How dare anyone criticize his decision to protect the pedophiles and not turn them out for public prosecution. Who'd say the Mass, eh?

What's a few damaged juveniles psyches anyway, as compared to the greater good of protecting the Church's image?

Honestly, what was he supposed to be doing with Laurence Brett, the serial abuser, besides follow orders? Cardinal Egan had his pedophile priests under control, and if Father Brett abused other boys when he was cycled out of Egan's diocese, well, it isn't the bishop's problem when he's gotten rid of a pervert.

When you get right down to it, it's the fault of the press for reporting this stuff. Everyone was happy when the abuse was hidden.

Can't we just get back to pray, pay and obey?

So the apology is officially retracted and Cardinal Egan can bask in the glory of his tenure as the Bishop of Bridgeport. He did so much good. Can't we just sweep all that bad back under the rug like good little sheep?

A Time To Write And A Time To Refrain From Writing

2012-02-09T09:22:00.001-06:00

Before Lace Curtain Irish can land in sales catalogues, I have to approve the galley.

That means reading every single word, searching for typos and various other mistakes. I have to read very carefully, word by word, to be sure that pages or sentences or paragraphs weren't missed when the manuscript was transmitted across the Internet and its digital image turned into real paper and ink.

As much as I'd rather be working on the edit of another manuscript, my business partners are counting on me to get the proof-reading done in a timely manner.

Today I won't get a chance to put some fresh words down, to re-work sentences and edit out large chunks of sloppy narrative.

Instead, I'll do my bit so that we can set up our book give-away and send copies off to the book reviewers and the book bloggers who'll have us.

Are There Even Any Children In Paris?

2012-02-08T09:17:00.000-06:00

To make urbanites even more guilty about their pathetic parenting skills, we now have Pamela Druckerman piling on.

Due to her extensive experience as a mother in Paris, the New York Times journalist has penned an entire book that heaps praise on the French maman while raising an eyebrow at American (that would be New York women) and their horrible offspring.

Her book, Bringing Up Bebe, is a collection of Ms. Druckerman's observations as she compared her maternal instincts to those of the natives. Of course, she found the French to be superior in raising respectful children but that might be because the French are actually parenting, and not trying to be Junior's best mate.

After spending nearly a week in Paris, however, I'm inclined to wonder if there are actually children in the nation's capital.

They weren't in the restaurants, that's for certain. Not once did we see a miniature human being at any one of the bistros or brasseries.

No surprise, of course, that there were no wee little ones at Sunday Mass. If it weren't for the tourists, the churches in Paris would be largely empty.

Not until New Year's Day, as we strolled along the Champs Elysees, did we spy any miniature French people. I'm left to wonder if the Parisians send all their children away to school immediately after birth, to be trained in polite manners and dining etiquette.

Is that the real secret?

Being tough, taking the role of the heavy, is the unpleasant part of parenting. You can't control your children if you're more concerned with them liking you. What better system than to have someone else do the dirty work, while the parents go out for dinner with adult friends or linger over a croissant at Paul?

That's why God invented nuns and the Catholic school system, isn't it?

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

2012-02-07T09:21:00.000-06:00

No, Ernest Hemingway never said that his home town of Oak Park, Illinois, was a burg of broad lawns and narrow minds.

What might he say of them now that the village is suing a former property owner for failing to make repairs to a home that the Oak Park Fire Department caused?

James Bogard hopped on the real estate investment train just before it derailed. Stuck with an investment property he couldn't flip, he took an offer from a developer and thought he'd gotten out from under without too much damage to his fiscal health.

Alas, the developer bought it for a tear-down and promptly turned the empty house over to the Oak Park Fire Department so that they could use the house for training purposes. The building was coming down anyway, so why not let the firemen get some much needed practice in venting, rescue, and the rest.

Double alas for Mr. Bogard. The deal fell through---after the fire department had put gaping holes in the roof, punched holes in the walls, and filled the place with smoke to replicate a fire.

As proof that no good deed goes unpunished, the Village of Oak Park sued Mr. Bogard, insisting that he as the homeowner had to fix the place up. And not even a letter of thanks from the firemen who reaped the benefit of trashing the place.

The case has been dragging on for the past three years, with Mr. Bogard pointing out the fact that the fire department is at fault for the damage. Shouldn't they have run a quick title search to verify that the developer who gave them access to the house was actually the owner before taking an axe to the roof?

Mr. Bogard is suing the Village, seeking compensation for the damage and a removal of the fines that the Village levied against him for those same damages. He'd like the Village to make good on his losses, which include the inability to rent the house when he couldn't sell it. Considering the fact that the fire department made the structure uninhabitable, it's a fair claim.

Village officials aren't talking, but what can they say after pulling such a bone-headed manuever?

How about, sorry, forget the fines, please go away and stop calling attention to a case of bureacracy run wild. It distracts from the town's elite position as the birthplace of Ernest Hemingway.

Hit The Road, Mac

2012-02-06T09:56:00.001-06:00

Writers are able to foster a sense of belief in their readers.

With the right collection of words, an author can make a reader suspend their instincts and inclinations to not believe whatever plot device or character quirk the writer has devised.

If you were on Twitter and found a tweet from @CormacCMcCarthy, you might allow yourself to believe that the reclusive writer had actually gotten himself a Twitter account.

Author Margaret Atwood believed it to be so.

Alas, all good fiction must come to an end, and the fake Cormac McCarthy has hit the road. Michael Crossan, an unpublished writer from bonnie Scotland, admitted that it was him who set up the account and started tweeting.

From the start, the account took off to a degree that Mr. Crossan never expected. He sent one tweet to Ms. Atwood, as Cormac McCarthy, and she excitedly proclaimed to all her followers that Cormac himself was out there in the Twitterverse. Then Twitter's own Jack Dorsey added further support, by proclaiming to the millions that the recluse was on Twitter and doesn't Twitter have all the great authors sending off those short bursts of characters.

All along, it was only Michael Crossan.

Three days into his literary exercise, he was found out and his Twitter feed is no more.

Mr. McCarthy's publisher has stated that the real author of The Road doesn't so much as own a computer. The man doesn't even write short stories, so to believe that he'd be tweeting is a bit ridiculous.

Pity Mr. Crossan hadn't taken a page from the Columbia College professor's on-line masquerade as the fake Rahm Emanuel during the Chicago mayoral race.

At least he played it for laughs.

And got a nice book deal out of his tweets.

Beloved Toys Meet The Disposable Society

2012-02-04T09:18:00.002-06:00

The result of said meeting is a fatal collision, in which the beloved toys have lost.

Melissa Nolan is closing her doll shop and hospital because there isn't enough business in Dublin to pay the bills.

It's more than that, you'd expect.

Once upon a time, little girls were given dolls as toys to play with. If they were judged mature enough to exercise great care, they would receive a fanciful confection of porcelain and elaborate costume and real hair. Such items were cherished forever, and brought to the doll hospital for repair.

The closest we have today is the American Girl series, but those pale in comparison.

Girls aren't limited to domestic-themed toys these days. The future women of the world enjoy video games, and they're as likely to be out on the soccer pitch as they are to be found playing house.

Yet there remains a fascination with dolls and all their paraphernalia. Witness the financial success of the American Girl and the Cabbage Patch Kids before that, to say nothing of all things Barbie.

What's particularly sad about the loss of Ms. Nolan's shop is the fact that a doll store has occupied those premises on George's Street since the 1930's. The Great Depression didn't kill it then, but the Great Recession has done its worst.

The Nolans hope to find someplace else to re-open, some other storefront where the rent is in line with the shop's limited income. Surely there will always be a market for dollhouses and miniatures and clothes and a custom-made doll that's like no other in the world.

Business As Usual Isn't A Good Thing In This Instance

2012-02-03T09:35:00.002-06:00

Romance authors seeking publication could once try their luck at Dorchester Publishing, a small house that cranked out bodice rippers and, one would assume, turned a profit.

Then things turned sour.

Authors reported missing royalty checks, or not getting paid at all. Dorchester had excuses. There was some shifting in strategy, suggestions of turning entirely to e-books. All along, they insisted they were still a going concern.

How can a publisher be operating when the editorial staff is close to non-existent?

With the departure of Chris Keeslar, there are five people left running Dorchester, a few of whom hold editorial staff positions.

Oh, and there's still a marketing and publicity coordinator. Ms. Hannah Wolfson put out an announcement on the heels of Mr. Keeslar's departure, claiming that it's all "business as usual". The usual, of late, isn't so good, when authors don't get paid. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but it's probably fairly accurate.

Dorchester is reorganizing and trying to re-invent itself, searching for a niche that's in need of filling when book sales are down. By the end of February, according to Ms. Wolfson, a plan will be in train.

That plan must not include a blog for the Dorchester community, because it's been put to sleep. Submissions have been closed for some time, but it only makes sense. Who would want to submit to a house that has acquired a reputation of short-changing its authors?

Do not go gentle into that good night, and Dorchester is clearly raging against the dying of the light. The problem is, when the patient is terminal, there's no amount of medicine that can save it.

Shorting The First Communion Money

2012-02-02T11:24:00.004-06:00

There's an old phrase that's used to describe someone who acts is if you're crushing the life out of him when you remind him it's his shout at the pub.

He's still holding on to his First Communion money, it's said of the tight-fisted. Never parts with a penny.

Now it's the government's turn to become tight-fisted about the money it doles out for the needy about to make a First Communion or a Confirmation.

Joan Burton is taking a long, hard look at how much the Exchequeur is giving to social welfare recipients to cover the cost of the Big Day.

The State is suffering from empty pockets, and those looking to cut back on expenditures are wondering if the government really needs to give a family E242 to pay for clothes for the kiddies.

In Ireland, the whole Communion/Confirmation business has gotten out of hand, becoming occasions for lavish and over-the-top spending. Fine if you've got the cash, but for those on the dole, it's the taxpayers' cash funding a religious event that wasn't ever meant to resemble a miniature wedding.

Community welfare officers are going to reduce the stipend to E110. It's enough to buy a new set of clothes for the guest of honor, which falls into line with the Church's take on the explosion of expenses related to the religious observance. In other words, quit worrying about putting on a holy show and concentrate on God.

Those with the ready cash, however, will continue to try to out-do one another.

And those at the bottom will complain mightily, that they can't have what someone else has.

Those would be the Sinn Fein supporters.

Reverse Evolution, or, Planet Of The Chimps

2012-02-01T08:35:00.001-06:00

You think it's funny, do you?

Those chimps that represent every doofus you've worked with, they make you laugh every year when Careerbuilder.com runs the ad during the Super Bowl game.

Admit you. You are guilty of finding humor.

There are those who aren't so much as chuckling. Maybe it's because their collective heads are lodged firmly up their collective asses.

Chicago's own Lincoln Park Zoo wants Careerbuilder to pull those ads AT ONCE and NEVER RUN THEM AGAIN!!!

The head of the zoo's Fisher Center, home to many primates on display, is beyond upset when he sees the noble chimp used in such a fashion, as an object of ridicule.

In Dr. Steve Ross's mind, showing chimps in suits will make us less likely to want to preserve and protect the species. Using chimps in such a frivolous manner will only result in a further erosion of chimp populations. At least that's what he's gotten out of a study from Duke University that claimed use of chimps in commercials takes away our concern for the fate of chimps in the wild.

Dr. Brian Hare, who led the Duke study, is worried that all those Africans watching the Super Bowl will be led to believe that chimps are in high demand as advertising stars, and they'll all go out and try to capture every last wild chimp.

Those of us who live in the real world, well beyond the boundaries of the Ivory Tower, find that concept almost as funny as the commercials themselves. Desperately poor people in Africa, watching American television? Do they train chimps to pedal bicycles attached to generators to create the electricity to power the 52 in. plasma screen?

The two professors have cited statistics that show the ads are less effective than those that employ scantily clad female humans or cute little jingles, but Careerbuilder.com has found that the ads are highly effective at boosting business and creating brand awareness. They aren't about to drop an ad campaign that's working for them.

So that means the college profs have nothing left but the instillation of guilt, in the hope that the public will feel their outrage and turn on Careerbuilder.

That's not likely to work, either, but it's a whole lot easier to create a tempest in a teapot than to actually put together a public awareness campaign that rides on Careeerbuilder's coat tails. Less troublesome to call for a boycott than to teach the viewing public about the threats to chimp habitat and population, about the realities of wild animals that cannot be turned into household pets.

But then again, these are college professors we're talking about. They're not accustomed to doing the dirty work, like teaching. Isn't that what the T.A.s and instructors are for?

Are We There Yet?

2012-01-31T16:05:00.003-06:00

Hope this one's a keeper.

It's one thing to be creative, but it's another thing altogether when that creativity butts up against the foreign language that is a computer program.

Are we on track with our publication date of March 17, 2012?

Damned if I know.

At any rate, if there's no more technical problems and glitches, Newcastlewest Books will put together a lovely pre-publication ARC give-away and let's not forget sending ARCs to reviewers and book bloggers and anyone else who's interested in historical fiction arising from the Irish diaspora.

Lace Curtain Irish is set in Chicago and takes place in the area near the Union Stockyards. It's the home of the Chicago Way, of Irish politics and influence and a lingering scent of power arising from money. It is a story that takes place in the past, but could just as easily be told in the present tense.

We All Could Use A Room Of Our Own

2012-01-30T09:02:00.001-06:00

It was Virginia Woolf who famously noted that female authors need their own space in which to work.

We writers need the peace and quiet...and the NOT GETTING INTERUPTED...in order to create. Not only the women, but all writers need to focus their thoughts on the words bouncing around inside their heads.

Her adage about having money applies to all equally well. To write is to not earn a living, and if you have bills to pay, you know you have to be doing something with your time that brings in an income.

I tried to fix the cover of Lace Curtain Irish today, and for someone not accustomed to using Adobe's fabulous software, it takes every brain cell to figure it out. I'm not to be allowed to focus any brain cells on the project that needs to be finished, and very soon.

Maybe later? Maybe after the family's gone to sleep, and assuming I'm not nodding off myself?

A room of my own, and money. What an impossible dream.

From Deserter To Hero In Sixty-Five Years

2012-01-26T10:04:00.002-06:00

Perhaps Eamonn de Valera's greatest legacy is one of incomprehensible idiocy, as evidenced by the sympathy he extended to Germany's ambassador to Ireland following the death of Adolph Hitler.

When World War II broke out, he loudly proclaimed that Ireland was neutral while the rest of the world fought to put an end to fascism and wholesale murder, although there are those who don't think Dev was sincere in his declarations.

But he was adamant about the appearance of the whole "neutral" business. Any Irish member of the Defense Forces who took it upon himself to join the fight, making a mockery of Dev's decree, was labeled a deserter.

When all those men came back at war's end, they were treated like what Dev had labeled them: deserters.

Those who dared to defy the neutrality stance that he ordered were made to pay for many long years. Who'd want to hire a deserter, after all? Such men were blacklisted, to be denied employment for the very grave sin of showing up Eamonn de Valera.

The Irish State is finally getting around to pardoning those whom the rest of the world considers heroic. Sixty-five years on, however, it's rather late in the game.

It's nothing more than a gesture for the few still alive and the families of those who paid the price for taking action, contravening the man who crowned himself king of Ireland.

No one can repay those who lived in poverty because they couldn't find work, and there's no mention of re-instating Defense Force pensions that were denied because the recipients were considered deserters.

That's the problem with correcting a wrong long after such a correction could repair the damages. It never comes out right.

Get Out Of Bed, Get Dressed

2012-01-25T08:58:00.001-06:00

You're only going to the social welfare office.

They know you're not working. What do they expect you to be doing, so, beyond sitting around indoors? What's the point in getting dressed?

In future, those arriving for interviews at the office will be expected to make a slight effort at appearing presentable.

Pyjamas, in spite of all the hype by fashionistas, are out.

At the Damastown office in West Dublin, they've posted a sign that bans the wearing of jammies. If you're meeting with a counselor, you have to turn up in real clothes.

Looking like you've just climbed out of bed isn't sending the right signal, especially when the counselor wants to know how you're progressing on your job search. Sitting there in P.J.'s, it's pretty clear that you're not searching and you're quite content to pocket your allowance and remain on the dole into infinity.

Then again, you might be signalling severe depression and before you know it, someone from the mental health services is clucking over you as they bundle you off to the psychiatric ward. You'll be free to wear jim jams all day long, but it will hospital-issued apparel and there's no fashion sense to those items whatsoever. And the barred windows tend to be rather confining.

Who would have envisioned a dress code at the welfare office? How times have changed.

Increased Price, Reduced Content

2012-01-24T09:26:00.000-06:00

We're all still reeling from sticker shock, courtesy of the Chicago Tribune.

Of course we know that prices go up, just as the cost of producing products goes up. In the case of the newspaper, however, the jump in a home delivery subscription was more than anticipated.

Some of us cancelled, unable to bear another expense on an item that is becoming increasingly a luxury.

I admit I swallowed hard and wrote the check, not yet ready to confine my news gathering to the Internet and the Tribune's free website. I'd miss the crossword puzzle too much.

The price boost isn't enough for the Tribune Company, however. While I'm paying more for my daily paper, the suits in the corner offices are going to extract the book section and expect me to pay even more if I want to continue reading it.

How's that for a sound business model? Raise prices, reduce content, and expect the readers to keep right on dipping into wallets that are depressingly thin.

There are loads of other places to get free book reviews if I'm interested in new releases.

I already know what's coming out before it's released, thanks to Publishers Marketplace and their weekly round-up of publishing news. The New York Times has some free content yet, and their site holds plenty of book-related info that I don't have to pay extra for.

So, as much as I love books and reading, I'm not going to sign on. There's a limit to how much I can spend and still keep a roof over my head.

Besides, there's always the public library if I absolutely have to find out what Julia Keller thinks about all things literary.

Saved For Future Re-Gifting

2012-01-23T09:35:00.001-06:00

Grandparents across the world are sending thank you notes to their offspring, adhering forever to the notion of good manners.

Those Kindles that they received for Christmas? Still in the box, in spite of the warm words of gratitude for such a lovely and expensive gift, you shouldn't have, really, it's too much...

Really.

You shouldn't have.

Nearly a quarter of the Kindles purchased for the holidays have yet to be turned on.

Why turn it on, when there's no books downloaded on it? Granted, it has to be turned on to start the download process, but do you honestly expect those without technological experience to even consider tackling something as complex-sounding as a download?

Our frugal relations won't let those expensive gifts go to waste, however. Somewhere down the days, after a suitable cooling off period, the offending Kindle will be passed along to someone else. It could be a wedding or a bridal shower. It could be a birthday of someone not directly in contact with the original gift giver. But someone else will end up with the Kindle, and no one will be any the wiser.

If you're one of those donors, however, you might want to look around in Gran's box room to see if she's really as grateful for your prezzie as she made out to be on Christmas morning. Especially if she has various hard copies of books scattered about the place. There's no converting some people.

Multi-tasking In The Digital Age

2012-01-20T09:29:00.000-06:00

Besides the above-average press of work, there's some formatting that needs correcting on Lace Curtain Irish that desperately needs to be done yesterday.

A French publisher is interested in taking a look at the manuscript, but that means putting together a summary and manuscript into a downloadable file. And, of course, sending it along.

Bills are due in a matter of days, however, and it's up to me to make the payments. Must be that stack of things to do over there at the far right corner of the desk.

Can't keep clients waiting much longer for the return call, either. Those tasks are represented by the call log book, which is in danger of being buried under the collection of paperwork that I must get to the acountant immediately.

How I envy you, Kali, with your physique designed for multi-tasking. Even in this digital age, in which I have a smart phone and a computer and Wi-Fi access throughout my home, two hands just isn't enough to manage it all.

A Vacation From Writing

2012-01-19T09:44:00.001-06:00

Not only was I cut off from the Internet (cheap lodgings will stretch the vacation euro, but there's always a down side), but I never had a free moment to gather some literary thoughts and write something.

Overwhelmed with the need to recall the cupla focal of French that I learned in the age of the dinosaur, my brain didn't even spin yarns as I waited in a long, long queue to visit the Tour Eiffel.

This unintended vacation from writing has left me disoriented as I sit down to return to an edit barely begun before my departure, and a short story that's little more than a hazy outline.

Where can I find some incentive to fix the formatting errors on Lace Curtain Irish so that publication can proceed on time?

The vacation is over.

The memories are stacked up in my mind, waiting to be filed away for some future use.

Like jet lag, this return to a writing routine will take a bit of time, but it won't be long before I'll be right back where I left off.

It's Official

2012-01-04T07:00:00.000-06:00

As featured on Publishersmarketplace.com:

P. L. O'Sullivan's LACE CURTAIN IRISH, a family saga set in Chicago that encompasses the conflict between Irish immigrant parents and the first American born generation, to Cian O hAnnrachainn at Newcastlewest Books, in a nice deal, for publication in March 2012.

That makes it official. I'll have ARCs to hand around as I like, and Newcastlewest Books will no doubt have more info at the website when the time comes.

But for now, it's a fine start to a new year. My words are on paper....eventually appearing on e-reading screens everywhere. Can't wait until I'm holding a copy in my hands.

A Second Look At Digital

2011-12-29T07:30:00.000-06:00

Lucky me, to have received an iPhone from Santa.

It's the old model, far less expensive than the latest fad, but it works just the same. It has the same features, by and large.

It has iBooks.

When it comes to reading on a screen, I'm not a fan. I like the feel of a book, the smell of the paper and the sound of a page being turned.

Clever little devils at Apple. Their reading app acts a bit like a book with an imitation of the visual aspect of page-turning. Then there's the screen on the phone. The letters are clear, and it's fairly easy on the eyes. I can't say how it is for extended use, but the few pages I've read haven't caused any strain.

The convenience of having a book with me at all times is making me reconsider the whole digital book thing. Right there in my hand is a book I can pick up when I'm stopped at a railroad crossing, or sitting on the train commuting to the city.

Any time I feel like reading, I can.

Sooooo.....maybe e-books aren't as unpleasant as all that. They serve their purpose, fill their niche. God help me, but I think I'm being converted. Not fully. Not completely, I'll never abandon the print book. But I might download a novel every now and then, to enjoy the pleasures of reading when I don't have a trade paperback at hand.

The Distiller Should Be Jailed

2011-12-27T07:51:00.001-06:00

A young man broke into a home and then proceeded to elude police. He was found hours later, sleeping on a couch. He was not, it should be noted, at home at the time of his arrest.

Howard Brundage has no idea what happened, or how he got there, or what he did.

His alibi?

He took a few swigs of marshmallow vodka and the rest of his night was a blur.

Marshmallow vodka? Honestly?

Whoever would distill such a disgusting product should be put behind bars and made to perform community service for inflicting such tripe on the public.

As for Mr. Brundage, it's not very likely that a judge will buy his "the vodka made me do it" excuse.

Lucky for him there is no marshmallow vodka in jail, which is where he will most likely end up for some time. He'll get a chance to clear his head....and his palate.

You Should All Stay Home

2011-12-27T05:00:00.000-06:00

If you had some notions of being out and about on St. Stephen's Day, Iarnrod Eireann settled your hash this year.

They simply didn't run the trains. If you couldn't walk to your destination, you were out of luck.

There was a time when the day after Christmas was meant to be slow. You were supposed to do some visiting, walking all the way if your family couldn't afford a car.

Ah, nostalgia. Irish Rail has brought it all back.

The State can't afford to run all the trains it once did, and that's a large part of the problem. It costs money to send a train from Cork to Dublin, and if there's only ten people on board, it's money lost.

Until after the first of the new year, there's to be reduced services, under the assumption that unemployment is high and there's few in need of rail service to commute to non-existent jobs. That's my take on the situation, at any rate.

As for the retailers asking for more trains to bring in more clients for the after-Christmas sales, can you believe their optimism? Does anyone have a euro to spare on the 26th of December?

If you really have to get somewhere, climb out of bed at the crack of dawn and take a bus. That's the only option that's left.

Changes Coming As 2011 Is Going

2011-12-23T07:42:00.001-06:00

Even though Monday is the official, legal holiday, it seems as if everyone's taking off today as well.

Christmas being such a huge day, it requires as much additional preparation time as possible. We're shopping far into the night, searching for bargains or searching for some sort of merchandise at all. The shelves weren't stocked to capacity this year, as the vendors recognized the decline in consumer spending.

I'm off, so.

We're taking a vacation and I'm not allowed to be using electronic devices that twitter or blog or e-mail. And then when I get back, there's the matter of a new computer to be dealt with. The current model is slowly expiring, struggling to load every URL and wheezing through its accounting tasks.

I don't expect to be back in the digital world until the middle of January, 2012. Upon my return, I expect I'll be faster (upgraded to Windows 7 from XP) and loaded with RAM and gigabytes aplenty, stuffed full of USB 3.0 ports.

Behave yourselves while I'm away.

One Hundred Years After Writing To Santa

2011-12-22T09:27:00.001-06:00

It's been one hundred years since Annie Howard sat down and wrote a letter to Santa. She was ten years old, residing in Dublin in 1911, and likely unaware of the turmoil that was soon to explode into bloody rebellion.

Like any other girl of her time, or indeed of our own time, she wanted a baby doll. Living in Ireland, she also wanted a waterproof coat with a hood and a pair of gloves to deal with the rain.

Oh, and don't forget the candy. Little Annie asked Santa to bring her a toffee apple and a gold penny and a silver sixpence. She then tucked her letter up the chimney where it would magically make its way to Santa, and who knows but that she received the much desired gifts on the 25th of December, 1911.

That letter sat in the same spot until John Byrne was re-doing the heating in a home he'd bought in Terenure, Co. Dublin. He kept it for a charming memento of a simpler time, but made his find public as this is the one hundredth year since Hannah penned her missive.

Hannah's son Victor read about the letter in the newspaper and it's hard to imagine how shocked and surprised and delighted he must have been to gain access to his mother's view of her world as a ten-year-old child.

We never meet our parents as children, but this was as close to such an encounter as anyone could have. There is no more unique Christmas gift than that.

Lean, Mean, Synergy-Realizing Machine

2011-12-21T10:28:00.003-06:00

It's McGraw-Hill's turn to realize some synergies.

That's MBA-speak for giving people the sack.

In books, it's all about the digital as publishers see their sales climb in e-books while hard copies sink. There's nothing complex about what's happening. E-books are cheaper than hard copies, and people who love to read will find a way to feed their addiction in whatever way they can afford.

And when you say e-book, you're saying affordable, just like the paperback when it was first introduced. With e-books, you can download one to just about any device, from a phone to a computer, and access to these devices is surprisingly common.

So McGraw-Hill doesn't need such a large sales force to drag hard copies around the country, plugging the wares. A sales rep can sit at home in rumpled jammies and fire off e-mails with excerpts attached, fully ready to download to EPUB or PDF or whatever format applies.

Buy this book, all ye indie book shops, and there's the rep reaching all of them at one go. Highly efficient. Highly lacking in the need for many reps to perform such a simple task.

As for the shop owners who enjoy face time and discussing what's on offer, well, there's FaceTime on Apple's iPhones, isn't there?

And don't keep the rep on the line for long periods of time. They're doing the work of three or four in this future world of publishing, in which every publisher must be a lean, mean, synergy-realizing machine to stay competitive.

Value Added

2011-12-20T11:20:00.000-06:00

When you hire an interior decorator to tart up your digs, you wouldn't know what said decorator is paying for your new furniture.

You assume that there's a considerable mark-up. It's how the decorator makes money. And you know full well that the person advising you on color schemes isn't actually cooking up the paint in their kitchen, any more than they are joining the panels for the doors of your new cabinetry in their shed.

You pay for the designer's creativity. The furniture company gets what the market will bear for the physical product.

What if you were only getting decorating advice? Are the decorator's ideas any less valuable if they don't put a physical product into your home?

Not quite the situation that author Michael Chabon sees in the publishing industry, but there are some similarities.

He's the writer of several novels, a few of which Open Road Integrated Media will be publishing in digital format. These older works were published before anyone heard of digital rights, and Mr. Chabon was thus able to market those rights to whoever would give him what he felt they were worth. Open Road.made him the best offer he was likely to get, not unlike the desperate souls in High Point, North Carolina when they set a price with an interior decorator.

It's just that Mr. Chabon is the one possessed of the ideas, but unlike the interior decorator, he doesn't get to set his price and reap the rewards of his creativity.

For his works that are still controlled by Random House and Harper Collins, he had to accept their royalty on e-books. The publishers don't have to run presses, buy paper and ink, or ship crates stuffed with books. There are no such costs to be recouped. Yet the royalty rate for Mr. Chabon's e-books is the same as that for a hard copy.

E-books sell for far less than hard copies, but when an author gets the same 25% regardless, it's essentially a discount on the author's ideas. The publisher then reaps the rewards of a popular author, in the form of larger profit margins on electronic editions.

Little wonder that Mr. Chabon is less than pleased with the deal. But unless he teams up with his agent to publish on his own, he's stuck with a reduced pay-out.

Shouldn't be so surprising, then, that more and more literary agents are entering the e-book field.

Adjusting The Itinerary

2011-12-17T10:30:00.000-06:00

Piano, piano, we've been told. Going to Italy means rolling with the punches. Don't put too much stock in an itinerary.

Even the Pope is going slow, rolling down the aisle on a moving platform.

Reports are that His Holiness is very much showing his age, and it's more than the motorized contraption that ferries him for short distances. He's worn out, they're saying, without the spark he once showed in audiences. And with all the pomp of Christmas services to deal with, we're figuring the old man will be totally spent by the Epiphany.

With that in mind, we're skipping the Papal Audience. We'll be sure to took a long look at the Vatican Museum, at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and the magnificence of St. Peter's basilica.

The only risk there is if the Italians go on strike and the trams aren't running and the taxis are idle. And considering how angry the Italians are with their politicians who live like princes while the commoners tighten their belts, it's a pretty good bet that someone will walk off the job in the first week of January, but there are ways to work around wildcat strikes here and there.

On the other hand, it seems like a pretty reasonable assumption that the Pope will be dragging that same week. You wouldn't expect much in the way of stirring sermons or inspirational messages from an elderly priest who really should be taking a nap to conserve his limited strength.

Following suggestions from friends who have been there, we're keeping most dates open on our vacation, ready to roll with the punches. That's going to include Wednesday.

It would be just too depressing, to see a shadow of a clergyman and realize that he's running the show, a show that's losing audience share at a startling rate.

In Memory Of Hitch

2011-12-16T06:25:00.002-06:00

He knows now.

Author Christopher Hitchens knows if there is a God or not.

The writer has succumbed to cancer at a young age, and if there is a God, he's met Him. If not, he's none the worse for his atheism.

At the end, did he regret his lifestyle with its abundance of drink and cigarettes? Or was he glad that he'd enjoyed himself to the full, rather than yield to the guilt inflicted on us all by religion.

Did he have another short story or essay working itself up in his brain? Was he sorry that he'd not be able to write it down and thus the last thoughts were lost?

None of us can say with certainty, because no one's come back and told us what death is like and what it's all about....what happens after the last breath is drawn.

Certainly, Mr. Hitchens never held back his opinions on anyone or anything. He never feared making enemies of those he felt were worthy of his scorn. His writing was enough to get many to purchase a copy of Vanity Fair, whether to be outraged or incensed or delighted by his rhetoric. He was far to the left until he went to the right, but wherever he wandered, his prose was always well-crafted.

The man has left us, but his words are left behind.

Whether there is or is not a God, Mr. Hitchens has found a level of immortality.

On Becoming Scrooge

2011-12-15T09:11:00.001-06:00

I'm aware that the time I steal for writing means there's less time I spend with family and friends. It's the nature of this obsession that drives me to put words on paper.

Now that the holidays are upon us, I find that I can't steal enough of those precious minutes to suit me.

Christmas cannot be postponed or pushed aside for a day or two until I can fit it into my schedule.

I resent Christmas.

At the moment, I'm trying to put together the cover art for Newcastlewest Books' upcoming release, and the last thing I want is to have to go out shopping for prezzies.

I'm not interested, not in the least.

If not for Christmas, I'd be happy with my computer and all its fonts and clip art. If not for Christmas and all the required family time, I'd get the cover art done in a more timely manner.

Hurry Christmas. Hurry up and get over and done so I can get back to my project.

Bah. Humbug.

An Analysis Of Water Volume And Pond Capacity

2011-12-14T08:32:00.003-06:00

There was a time, and it may still be going on somewhere, when the local fire department would connect their hoses to the nearest hydrant and flood the baseball field or the tennis courts.

Large volume, high pressure, and that worked out to a short time needed to create an ice rink for the local kiddies. Sure, the rec department could have gone out with garden hoses, but it would have taken hours to accomplish the same task, and at pay rates of time and a half, it could get to be expensive.

Tony Nelin and Timmy Ryan clearly have some understanding of the physics of water flow. The enterprising lads skipped the garden hose step and went right to the fire hose when they wanted to create a hockey rink for them and their pals in Tinley Park, Illinois.

Physics they understood, but as for the law----well, that's another matter. They were caught filling their skating pond when someone followed the hose that was illegally connected to the fire department's hydrant, through woods and straight to the site of a soon-to-be-skated-upon rink.

Tony says one of his relations gave him the loan of the hose, a relation who happens to be a fire fighter. A relation who, by the way, is complicit in the theft of water and tampering with public property, but we can only hope that the fire fighter relative explained how to open and close the hydrant without creating an air hammer that would rupture the main.

The two young men are due to appear in court to answer charges on the hydrant tampering, and they'll be made to pay for the water they used. All of around $125, which isn't much to spend when you want a place to play hockey without a load of little kids getting in the way of flying pucks.

Here's hoping the weather turns cold so all that water freezes up to a smooth, hard surface. There's nothing better than hockey played outdoors, in the cold.

Shortening The Distance Between Agent And Publisher

2011-12-13T09:39:00.003-06:00

Literary agent Emmanuelle Morgen, nee Alspaugh, has moved chairs once again. Formerly with Judith Ehrlich's crew, she will hang up her coat in the offices of Stonesong.

Sorry, with who? A literary agency, you say? But they say they're also a publisher.

Several literary agencies have branched out into e-book publishing for their clients. There are countless reasons given, usually having something to do with money or control of an author's catalogue. No matter why it's done, it has blurred the boundary between literary agent and publisher.

Stonesong not only blurs that line but seems to have done a fine job of erasing it. How can a firm that publishes on demand also act as a representative for authors seeking a publishing contract with a major house?

The Association of Authors' Representatives is concerned with ethics in their industry, and agents becoming publishers is often considered a violation. It's a bit of a conflict of interest for an agent. If they can't sell something, do they then publish the manuscript through their own company? So why would they want to work really hard to sell something?

To date, Stonesong has been largely dealing with non-fiction, and judging by their on-line listings, they're big in the cookbook world. Ms. Morgen plans to continue representing women's fiction and all the other genres she's familiar with.

That means Stonesong is looking to expand, but are they more interested in doing more representing, or more publishing?

The industry is surely in flux. Who can state with certainty where it's going, or where it will end up?

May The Dew Glisten Again In Tullamore

2011-12-10T10:44:00.001-06:00

The whiskey was named for the town in which it was first distilled, but there is no distillery in Tullamore, County Offaly, these days.

Like so many other iconic brands, this one was bought out and then moved away to a more modern, convenient location.

Sipping Tullamore Dew is to quaff little more than a memory, a wee drop of nostalgia that sets it apart from John Jameson's brew which comes from the heart of Dublin.

And it's Jameson's Irish whiskey that the tourists observe being made, because the distillery is a popular attraction. What does Tullamore Dew have to offer beyond a guide pointing to the spot where the liquor used to be made?

All that may change soon.

New owners William Grant & Sons, Inc. are in talks with Offaly County Council to find a proper site on which to construct a distillery. They control the heritage center where the brand was founded, but that doesn't exactly resonate with the potential buyer of Tullamore Dew.

With their brand at Number 2, they'd like to take it to Jameson's, and what better way than to get some face time with a distillery tour and tasting room?

The firm has plans to develop the heritage site and bring in people, which is all to the good for the little town. Everyone would like the tourist dollars (and it's largely Irish-Americans who make up the audience) and a town needs a reason to be visited.

You can bet that the council will be very, very amenable to anything William Grant & Sons cares to do.

It's not only the influx of tourists that will help, but the distillery will require employees to run the place and bottle up the water of life. A thriving distillery, back in the soil from which it sprouted, is the answer to many problems plaguing the Irish economy, at least in County Offaly.

More important to those who enjoy a wee drop, a distillery in Tullamore will be using the local water, and it's the water that makes a huge difference in the taste. And being able to market a product as a genuine import, a direct competitor to Jameson's, could make all the difference in sales figures going forward.

A Little Secret Between Friends

2011-12-09T11:34:00.001-06:00

Archbishop McQuaid & his pal Dev

It pays to have friends in high places.

Like if you're the Archbishop of Dublin and you have a fondness for abusing children...it would be good to have Eamonn de Valera at your side to ward off those pesky accusers.

Funny how those friendships linger long after both mates are dead and gone.

An allegation of child abuse levelled against Dublin's former Archbishop John Charles McQuaid in 2003 should have been reported to the Murphy Commission that was recently charged with revealing all that had been hidden, but somehow or other, HSE forgot to include so prominent a clergyman in their report until the Murphy Commission was all but finished.

In 2010, another complaint was lodged with the archdiocese, and current Archbishop Diarmuid Martin reported it to both the gardai and the Murphy Commission. Clearly he has been cooperative, aware of the fact that the Church must make a full confession if it is to be taken seriously by the faithful whose faith has been weakened.

Sadly, but not surprising, the allegations were never investigated. The Department of Justice has apparently had enough of the child abuse issue as well, because they have no intention of investigating HSE to find out why it failed to investigate.

There's not much to examine, actually.

Like so many of his colleagues, the Archbishop was more interested in protecting his priests than worrying about a bunch of children. Sure Ireland was full to the brim with the wee little ones, but there were never enough priests.

Whether or not Archbishop McQuaid was a pedophile will never be determined. The Church can safely sit back and claim it's all conjecture and rumour and idle gossip, while the parishioners will grumble under their breath about the powerful taking care of their own and ignoring the damage left behind.

Archbishop Martin didn't care that his predecessor was a friend of Dev. He did what he was supposed to do to clear up the issue. It doesn't help his quest to clean up the mess if the Irish State won't follow through on their end.

Flying Too Close To The Sun

2011-12-07T21:29:00.001-06:00

Icarus made the fatal mistake of flying too close to the sun with his wings made of feathers and wax. If only he'd been more cautious, the poor lad would have soared on into eternity.

So, too, falls Garrett Kelleher, a man once wealthy by his own hard work and sacrifice.

He left Ireland in the 1980's, along with thousands of others who couldn't find work. In Chicago, he went into the trades and with a bit of luck, managed to land in the middle of the property boom.

With his skill, he was able to rehabilitate old buildings in gentrifying areas, and then flip them at a profit.

And what profits he made.

He lived in style in Chicago, owning a mansion in an area equivalent to Dublin 4 on steroids. His property portfolio grew, encompassing parcels in the States, Ireland, England and Europe.

In Chicago, he went about developing the tallest residential building in the world, an enormous spiral skyscraper designed by starchitect Santiago Calatrava. He borrowed even more money to finance the project, a structure that would fix his name in the firmament.

Like so many other high flyers, Mr. Kelleher leveraged properties so that he could fund more development ventures. Flying high, and then the property market burned up and his wings melted away. The land wasn't worth so much anymore. The rents were insufficient to meet expenses and interest due and loan payments.

His Chicago mansion is in receivership, with millions owed on the mortgage. His Chicago Spire parcel was taken over by the banks when he failed to make those payments.

Now his Irish branch, Shelbourne Development Group, is on the verge of being placed into receivership. Bank of Scotland is owed E200 million and they'd like it back, one way or another.

At the moment, the only way appears to be confiscating the assets and selling them for whatever the market might bring.

Once worth E500 million, the Irish developer is rapidly falling back down to where he started as an emigrant in America with little more in his possession than his own two hands.

Mr. Kelleher is in talks with the bank, trying to salvage something on which to rebuild his melted wings.

If he comes out of this disaster with something on which to build a future, you can be sure he'll never fly so close to the sun again.

Something Old, Something New, Something Plagiarized, Author's Blue

2011-12-07T06:43:00.001-06:00

Publishers Weekly said "This is an impressive, original work that illuminates its subject."

Jeremy Duns says it isn't hardly original at all. In fact, he's found several passages that are pure plagiarism.

Publisher St. Martin's Press says it isn't plagiarized. Those passages that seem to be almost word for word? Coincidence.

Lenore Hart, author of The Raven's Bride, says she did extensive research and gave a list of sources to her publisher as proof. She also says she didn't read The Very Young Mrs. Poe by the late Cothburn O'Neal until after she'd submitted her final manuscript, so she couldn't possibly have lifted whole passages from Mr. O'Neal's book and put them into hers.

Except that Jeremy Duns, who outed plagiarist Q. R. Markham, has posted some matching copy on his blog and it's hard to suspend disbelief, so similar is the wording.

It's not just the prose, as Mr. Duns has pointed out. There are things that Mr. O'Neal made up that appear in Ms. Hart's novel, and fiction isn't exactly historically accurate research material.

Perhaps Mr. O'Neal's estate will make a fuss, and it's certainly possible that St. Martin's Press will pull The Raven's Bride from its catalog. The anguish of the literary community will fade, as it did in the wake of the phony memoir scandal that passed through a few years ago.

For the author struggling to land a literary agent or a publishing contract, it's another drop of bile to flavor the latest rejection letter for a manuscript of entirely original prose.

New Skills, New Direction

2011-12-06T06:56:00.001-06:00

As we move forward with our publishing venture, Newcastlewest Books, we've all had to develop new skills to meet the challenge.

We are all skilled in writing and editing. We can handle manuscript formatting. There's a team member who's got a handle on writing flap copy.

It will take all of us working together to create an eye-catching cover.

Photoshop isn't part of anyone's skill set, yet it's critical to the development of cover art. Unfortunately, the learning will take valuable time, which means publication of our second novel will be delayed until after the new year.

Better to take the time and do it well than rush.

Newcastlewest Books will be going with a new distributor in future, to better reach the reading public around the world, and we aim to give that reading public a product that is excellent, from cover to cover and every page in between.

If only one of our partners were an artist and a writer, but alas, it's not so. We can only put our minds together and be as creative with pictures as we are with words.

Don't Cry For Me, Italian Pensioners

2011-12-05T06:56:00.001-06:00

No need for tears, those of you collecting your old age pensions. Italy's welfare minister has shed them for you.

Elsa Fornero could not deliver the harsh news with an impassive face. This is Italy, after all, where passion is a way of life.

Having spent itself into penury, Italy must now cut back or go under, and the government has found ways to cut back that are going to hurt. After such a very long free ride, the carousel has ground to a halt.

Old people accustomed to an annual cost of living increase in their stipend will have to get by on less.

Ms. Fornero has good reason to weep. It's quite likely that the additional burden of higher taxes needed to get the budget out of the red will lead to price increases, and that means those who are retired will have to make their payment go further.

Having gone into retirement with government promises at their back, it's unlikely that the pensioners have a comfortable cushion in the bank to fall back on. For those not yet retired, they'll have to wait until they're 66, and even then, it isn't likely that they'll be able to afford to stop working.

So Ms. Fornero gave in to her sorrow, that the government can't afford to keep promises that were made for the sake of garnering votes. She may weep again, when the first stories of nonnas surviving on cat food hit the newspapers.

All she will have to give are tears. The Italian coffers are empty.

Where Are You Mark?

2011-12-02T06:58:00.001-06:00

The advert was placed in the Corkman News, but this urgent message needs to reach as large an audience as possible.

We have to find Mark.

Not just any Mark, of course, but the Mark who went to the GAA match on 26 August 2010.

Is there any man who would remember that he was in a particular pub after 18 months have gone by? Especially if that man had been drinking. He'd likely have no memory whatsoever.

Why does classifiedadvert120511 need to find this man so urgently?

That's what everyone's speculating about.

Why is the petite lady with dark hair and skin and brown eyes, who apparently took Mark home on the night in question, why does she urgently need to contact the man?

She's HIV-positive? She's looking for child support?

Or did a fortune teller inform her that she'd met her soulmate already and had let him get up in the morning and walk out the door without leaving a forwarding address?

So if you're Mark, or you know Mark, contact the poor woman and put her mind at ease.

And then let us know what all the fuss has been about.

Keep Your Lips Off

2011-12-01T06:57:00.001-06:00

How did it come about, that tourists keen to do all and see all in Paris must include a lip-planting?

Why is it de rigeur to leave a lipstick stain on the tombstone of Oscar Wilde?

Visitors to the Pere Lachaise Cemetery have left so many imprints on the stone that the grease in the lipstick caused severe deterioration to the stone itself.

Starting today, with a massive restoration project completed, your lips will no longer touch anything but a glass covering put in place to protect the monument.

Pas de s'embrasser, s'il vous plait.

The Irish government paid for a good portion of the repair work. While they might not have loved the man in his lifetime, the nation has embraced the troubled playwright in death.

The gravesite was re-opened, so to speak, by Dinny McGinley, the Minister of State for the Arts. He was joined by Oscar Wilde's grandson, Merlin Holland, who had first approached the Irish government about fixing the grave marker.

The sculpture is restored, and now it's under glass, to preserve it for all time and protect it from a bizarre fad that may or may not die out, now that lips will no longer meet cold stone but shiny, easy to clean glass.

Lord Of The Canvas

2011-11-30T06:57:00.001-06:00

A man's feet don't continue to flame well into middle and old age.

Lord of the Dance Michael Flatley has taken steps (!) to move on into a field more suited to his abilities.

Yes, he did indeed paint this with his feet. And if your bid is the highest at Sheppard's Irish Auction House, it could be yours.

Christ Church in Dublin is crumbling, as are so many ancient structures, and Mr. Flatley has created and donated a work of art to be auctioned off to the benefit of the rebuilding fund.

There aren't many Church of Ireland members left on the island to meet all the expenses of maintaining a house of worship, but the building itself is of historic importance for all the people of Ireland. Clearly, it's worth saving no matter what religion you might be practicing.

Mr. Flatley donned his dance slippers, applied paint, and proceeded to dance a number from his Celtic Tiger production. The result is an intriguing visual representation of the movements of the dance, a radically different perspective than what you've had as a member of the audience.

I suppose you could consider it a work of performance art, in that it was created during a performance.

The Irish-American dancer could craft an entire collection of such images, all by painting his dance moves. Each one will be unique, given that no other dancer has the moves of Michael Flatley, and no other artist has his unique skill either.

The Lord of the Dance has become The Lord of the Canvas. And whether you appreciate his talent for Irish dance, you must admit that his painting reflects movement and the intensity of those feet of flames.

A Most Valuable Company

2011-11-29T07:00:00.001-06:00

Facebook is where the kids maintain contact without having to use a telephone and actually speak. Who would have guessed that it might be worth $100 billion?

Rumours are floating out there about an Initial Public Offering for stock in the Facebook company, with a plan to raise $10 billion for various purposes.

No doubt Mr. Zuckerberg could use an influx of cash to expand his social media website into other areas of modern technology. After all, things change quickly and a man has to be a step ahead of the herd if he's to avoid getting trampled and left in the dust.

You have to wonder if Mark Zuckerberg saw what happened to Groupon's IPO, which sold strongly and then tanked.

For a long time, the Facebook founder said he wasn't interested in going public, but like Groupon, his offering could be on the verge of growing over-ripe. Investors who were burned by Groupon are going to be wary of another flash in the tech pan. If he's to reap some large profits out of his invention, he can't wait too long. Any sort of competition for Facebook, such as hurt Groupon, could damage his chance to strike gold.

I'm too cautious of an investor to jump on the Facebook bandwagon. You never know how long Facebook will thrive, whether the economy picks up or stays flat.

The money to be made by investors comes in buying the IPO early and selling into the teeth of a run by an excited second wave. They made a killing with Groupon. They'll do the same with Facebook.

It's those who end up holding the stock who may or may not be seen as prescient, as those who were as wise as the savvy few who snapped up Microsoft when no one knew anything about PCs or laptops or smartphones.

The rest of us will hold our blue chips and be glad of the annual dividend.

Social Media Meets History

2011-11-28T06:50:00.001-06:00

You might think of Twitter as a bizarre mix of social interaction and advertising.

You'd be right, of course, but there are those who use Twitter in clever ways that end up creating a story arc.

Chicagoans recall the fake Rahm Emanuel tweets that were a study in brilliant parody and political commentary during the recent mayoral election.

On a serious note, we can now follow along with events leading up to a conflict that became known as the Second World War ( The Emergency for those of you in Ireland).

As a history fanatic, I'll be following @RealTimeWWII.

The premise is intriguing, given that we all know what eventually happened, but we don't know what it was like before that outcome was anywhere on the horizon. In short burst of 140 characters, those who follow the twitter stream will be able to put themselves in the shoes of their ancestors.

Read each installment and you'll find yourself wondering what they must have thought, as the world teetered on the brink. You might find that you're thinking the same thoughts yourself as you watch the protests against government austerity budgets, the long lines at job fairs and the high unemployment figures.

Is history repeating? Go back into that history and judge for yourself.

When Black Friday Comes

2011-11-25T06:45:00.001-06:00

Okay, so Steely Dan has nothing to do with shopping, but it's a good song.

This Black Friday is all about shopping.

The news stories are full of advice. The traffic reporters are giving updates on traffic jams in parking lots around shopping malls. It's madness. It's about being sucked into a store by clever marketing.

Barnes and Noble is just one of many brick and mortar stores that wants to bring in paying customers who will provide them with profits. To do so, they will offer goods below cost, take a loss, and count on you the consumer to buy other stuff at regular price...as long as you're there.

The price of gas and all, the added expense to find that item cheaper elsewhere, not such a savings when you consider the fuel burned....

So you could buy your dearly beloved a Nook for $79, and that's $20 off retail. Then your special someone would become a B&N customer when they started filling the Nook's memory with books. All to the good for B&N in the long run.

There's deals on games for the kiddies, DVDs, and books, but you have to walk into the store to acquire these low-priced gifts. Because once you're in the store, looking around, you might spot a little something that would be perfect for Uncle Elmer and that's why all the stores are putting out loss leaders.

Enjoy your shopping experience. I'll be sitting at home with the remnants of an apple pie and a real book, not spending money and not buying into the insanity that is competitive shopping.

The best bargains are not to be found today anyway. Patience and not buying into the herd mentality will prove to be most cost-effective.

Studying For The Travel Test

2011-11-24T10:08:00.001-06:00

I start from the belief that I'll never be able to afford to travel to the Continent again.

My dear uncle only died the one time, and the legacy was left just this once, so there's the financing for our journeys in a nutshell.

That being the case, I want to see all I can see in five short days.

One doesn't embark on such a campaign without studying up first. It's going to be a test, of endurance perhaps, and to miss an answer to the question of "Where to next?" would be akin to flunking the vacation. For the next month, it's study and cram and study and review.

No guidebook can go unread. No rerun of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations can go unwatched.

There are restaurant reservations to be made...and none of us speak a word of French.

Google translate, anyone?

Or You Could Fly Southwest

2011-11-23T06:58:00.001-06:00

When airlines decided to charge their customers for a checked-in bag, the customers took to stuffing their belongings into a carry-on.

The average flyer isn't stupid, after all.

Southwest Airlines has made a name for itself through an ongoing advertising campaign, decrying the checked bag fee. Bags fly free!

They aren't charging their customers extra to bring enough clothes to last for the full ten day vacation. The suits who run the company aren't stupid, either. It's a perk they can afford to offer, and it attracts paying customers to the no-frills flights. A profit can be turned on slim margins if there's volume.

For the rest of the industry, it's been added income to the profit and loss statement. Not as much as they might have calculated, but better than squat. For the Federal Government that has to inspect each and every one of those additional carry-on bags, however, it's been an added expense to a money-losing venture.

Up pops Senator Mary Landrieu of the great state of Louisiana (home of New Orleans and the beignet). She's been watching those Southwest Airlines commercials---Bags Fly Free!---and she's decided that the government should step in and liberate all luggage.

She's proposed new legislation that would ban a fee on the first checked bag.

It's not out of the goodness of her heart. Everyone knows that the airlines would find some other way to recoup their costs, either by raising fares or finding something else to charge extra for.

Therefore, Ms. Landrieu has an alternative plan.

Yes, it involves raising taxes.

Airlines could continue to charge for checked bags, but they'd have to kick in to a fund that would help cover the rising expenses incurred by the TSA. When baggage inspection costs to the taxpayers were calculated, no one was figuring on a huge influx of non-checked bags, and with flyers saving money by not checking luggage, the Fed has taken a hit financially.

Either way, the cost of flying will go up. Expenses are passed down to the consumer eventually, because corporations exist to make a profit.

Next time, take the train.

Or you could fly Southwest. Bags Fly Free!

Countdown To Publication

2011-11-22T06:53:00.001-06:00

The manuscript looks like a real book. That would be because it's been set up for printing, all formatted and spaced and margined. Chapters are headed, pages are numbered, the ISBN is assigned.

So I could work on a short story that's kicking around my head, but it would be better for the production schedule if I finalize the blurb that goes in the catalog.

How else will potential book buyers know what Lace Curtain Irish is all about?

The pressure is on.

Those few paragraphs have to contain the plot, and contain it in an intriguing manner. This blurb is all about catching interest, catching fire, catching hold. It must, absolutely must, be good.

Before long, I'll have the physical book in my hands, one for me and several others to be given away for publicity. That's down the line, in the near future, and anyone who wants to read about love, betrayal, loss and redemption in the first generation of Irish immigrants to call Chicago home will want to watch the website of Newcastlewest Books for information.

What to say? How to say it? Like writing a novel, there will be a first draft, a revision, an edit and more revisions, all compressed into a couple of days.

Writing is a job, isn't it?

Titanic Writing Prompt

2011-11-21T06:47:00.001-06:00

Writers see stories everywhere--- in a glimpse of two people saying good-bye, in a conversation between sisters queued up for train tickets. In a photograph. The final photograph.

The woman looks careworn, old before her time, worn down by life as a widow with young children to care for. Her five boys are robust, healthy, well groomed and a bit bored by the whole process of photography. They surround their mother, a tableau created by the photographer in the studio in Athlone.

This very photo is going to be auctioned by George F. Mealy next month in Dublin. He expects the picture to bring in around E1000.

The value of any other family photo would not be so high, with the true value of such a memento to be found in the emotional link that is priceless. What makes this picture of the widow Margaret Rice and her five young sons so valuable is the fact that it was likely created as a keepsake for her family that she was leaving behind in Ireland.

Mrs. Rice boarded the Titanic for a better life in America. She and her five boys drowned.

It's known that she lived in Spokane, Washington, for a time. While there, her husband died in an accident and the widow returned to Athlone where she no doubt had family. She took a job as a housekeeper, but after a time she decided that she'd rather be in the States after all.

There's a story in there, a tale of a woman struggling to provide for her children. What hardships might she have faced while skivvying for a well-to-do family? What did she do with her sons while she was working?

What drove her to buy third class passage on the largest steamship to sail the Atlantic, and did she choose the Titanic because it was marketed as unsinkable?

There is a story there. A sweeping epic or a tragic romance, it is up to an author to put meat on the bones of a story that exists within a gold coloured frame, a family photograph that was snapped in 1912 and left behind by a woman who had no idea that she was sailing to her death.

Canada Welcomes The Irish----Again

2011-11-19T07:59:00.001-06:00

At the height of the Famine, countless starving Irish fled their homes for the great unknown across the water, and they found Canada.

Thousands first set foot on their new homeland on Grosse Isle, a quarantine facility set up outside of Quebec City. Already weakened by starvation, many of them died and were buried there.

Canada would like the Irish to come again, please. Unlike the last great influx, they don't except to be overwhelmed by a tsunami of desperately needy people. In fact, they're after some healthy specimens who, like their ancestors before them, are looking for work and opportunity.

The Canadian fisheries industry and construction sector needs people to fill jobs because there aren't enough Canadians available. The Irish speak English, they aren't afraid of hard work, and they have skills that are going to waste in Ireland. You don't hear about any housing construction booms any more, do you?

Canada's ambassador to Ireland, Loyola Hearn, believes that as many as 30,000 to 40,000 construction workers are needed, and Canada is ready to welcome them with open arms and reasonable rent on a comfortable flat.

From the rain forests of British Columbia to the wind-swept islands of the Maritimes, Irish workers can find paying jobs in a country where the people are noted for their polite manners.

Irish migrants should keep in mind the fact that much of Canada was populated by British loyalists fleeing the successful American revolution back in the 1780's. Being partial to the Crown, it might not be the ideal location for those of the Sinn Fein persuasion.

Or, one could just avoid discussing politics. Learn the rudiments of ice hockey and you've got a safe topic to argue over at the local pub. Well armed with your shovel and your appreciation for Robert Luongo, there's no telling how well you'll fare in the Great White North.

No Smoking, No Eating, No Fun

2011-11-18T07:00:00.001-06:00

You can't have a cigarette with your pint anymore.

Medical experts and those who don't want anyone smoking applied enough pressure to the politicians, and the smoke is now outdoors. Even the non-smokers head for the smoking section. The people out there tend to be more interesting, for some reason.

The New York Nannies have taken the control doctrine up a notch, however, and it's only a matter of time until some other government in some other part of the world sees it and thinks, Why, that's brilliant. We should follow New York's lead.

I've been in restaurants that provide a mound of cheese spread and crackers for patrons waiting for tables, or even for those who stop in for a drink. I've been in many a fine establishment that features a bowl of salted snacks at your left hand to pair with the beer in your right.

The New York City health police have decided that such communal food, left in the open as if it's all a big cocktail party, is not sanitary. There will be no free cheese and crackers any more. If you want nuts, you'll have to purchase a bag.

It's not as if someone has contracted some dread disease from eating the shared cheese or dipping fingers into a communal bowl of Chex Mix. What has the health police fired up is the possibility that such an event might occur.

A little more of the fun of a social evening has been removed by those who don't want us having too much fun in case we might laugh ourselves silly or bust a gut. A little more salt is removed from the bar and there goes the incentive to have another beer to quench a thirst.

Some people still resent the whole repeal of Prohibition thing, apparently. All that exuberance over demon alcohol...

Penguin Press On The POD Wagon

2011-11-17T06:51:00.001-06:00

Riding to the rescue of publishing comes Penguin Press. They must be thinking that the literary agents aren't doing the gatekeeping job in a fiscally sound manner.

Yes, that Penguin Press, the major publishing house that doesn't accept unagented submissions is starting up a new program that's remarkably like Amazon's CreateSpace, only more expensive. Authors self-publish their manuscripts using Penguin's platform, and are granted access to Penguin's distribution network. Penguin gets their cut, the authors get published, and even more books are released to the reading public.

It sounds like Penguin is admitting that the old system just doesn't work.

All those blockbuster books brought in by literary agents aren't always such blockbusters. Readers aren't responding as anticipated, sales are down, so what to do?

Turn the authors loose and maybe something will come out of the slush. If not, well, there's always that piece for Penguin that drips in from every sale. Why let Amazon get all the income?

Book Country is an online writing group writ large, with authors providing feedback for each other. It is also going to be the business entity that will allow authors to download their fully prepared manuscripts for publication, hard copy or e-book.

Like Amazon's venture, the author is responsible for the whole book, from content to cover and promotion. Unlike Amazon, Penguin's unit will distribute the book to wherever the author can manage to get them stocked.

Of course, when you've paid $99 as compared to Amazon's $0, you'd expect something in return.

Don't think the bean counters at Penguin won't be watching the sales figures in case there's someone out there in Book Country who manages to sell a large quantity.

They know there are authors in existence who can't compose a captivating query letter but can write intriguing prose, and those are the authors who are overlooked by literary agents at the gate.

In a way, Penguin is allowing the community at large to act as readers of the slush pile, a gatekeeping job of old within publishing houses looking for the next F. Scott Fitzgerald. Penguin isn't so sure the literary agents are doing it any longer, and they may be beginning to suspect that their own acquisitions editors aren't doing it anymore.

But beyond that, it's far more cost effective to let the author do all the work without costing Penguin a dime. It's pure profit, no editors or proofreaders needed. If a book sells, Penguin makes good. If a book doesn't sell, it hasn't cost Penguin anything so what difference does it make?

Book Country may be the future home of the mid-list author.

The American Heiress In Review

2011-11-15T07:02:00.001-06:00

St. Martin's Press provides the opening chapters to anyone who might be interested in their upcoming releases.

As a member of their "Read-It-First" program, I discovered The American Heiress by Daisy Goodwin. The first twenty-five pages, delivered to my e-mail inbox in five installments, was enough to pique my interest.

If you are a budding author, struggling to find representation and a publishing contract. DO NOT use this piece of debut fiction as a template for success. Daisy Goodwin is the product of a heavily clouted family, and her novel is by no means a perfect example of what it takes to get published these days.

The premise of the story is nothing new. Certainly Edith Wharton did a fine job building fiction around American heiresses of the late Victorian period, all on the hunt for a titled European husband.

Ms. Goodwin takes such a buccaneer and paints Cora Cash in a sympathetic light, the victim of an overbearing mother looking to add more gilt to the Gilded Age. Then the author fashions a mean girl rival that no good romance can survive without, and sprinkles in some conflict with a beast of a mother-in-law. All the makings of a good story.

What's lacking is the steady hand of an editor, to slice out a character (a milliner's assistant who appears in one chapter and then disappears) that serves no purpose whatsoever. The manuscript would have been well served if an editor had wiped out much of the redundant emotions so that readers wouldn't feel as if they're being beaten over the head with constant reminders of Cora Cash's animosity towards her husband's mother and the nastiness of her arch-nemesis, the scheming Charlotte.

This is the sort of book that I finish and think how glad I am that there's a public library available. I would have been disappointed if I'd spent $25.99 for the novel, but for free, it's not a complete waste of resources.

If you're into historical romance and don't mind cartoonish characters, the book isn't half bad. If you're looking for Edith Wharton-type insight into an era, you've come to the wrong place.

From A Whale To A Minnow

2011-11-14T13:08:00.001-06:00

Once upon a time, an Irish lad dreamed a dream of the world's largest educational materials publishing firm.

Barry O'Callaghan parlayed a minnow of a publisher, Riverdeep, into a whale of a publisher that was soon drowning in a deep ocean of debt. What is now known as Houghton Mifflin Harcourt is all that is left of his once mighty empire, a crash diet of redundancies turning the big whale into a skeleton of skin and bones.

Hedge fund manager John Paulson looked over what was left of O'Callaghan's creature and saw something on which to rebuild. A steady diet of sound business decisions was supposed to restore HMH to robust health.

Not unlike the dreamer, Mr. Paulson's eyes turned out to be bigger than his stomach. The good ship Houghton Mifflin Harcourt didn't turn around as anticipated. The overall economy worsened, sales in both trade and education slid in the wrong direction, and the skeletal whale must now be put on yet another diet.

The various divisions that Barry O'Callaghan created by merging multiple publishers are now to be merged into a single entity. Using techniques she likely honed at Microsoft, HMH CEO Linda K. Zecher will pick over the bones in search of scraps of redundant meat that can further shrink HMH in size.

There's nothing left in trade, which had once been put on the market as a going concern when O'Callaghan was desperate for cash. In fact, trade publishing is generating most of the profits, especially now that state governments are so skint that they're not buying new textbooks for their schools.

That being the case, it's the education division that's going to face the sort of cuts that were first instituted by Barry O'Callaghan (although he called them synergies and didn't he do a grand job of realizing them?).

Via mergers and leveraged debt, a whale of a publishing firm was created, and in short order, it proved to be too large to survive. Not unlike the dinosaurs, which grew too big to keep themselves fed.

What was once a whale is reverting to minnow status.

For the hard-working employees who are made to suffer because one man had a dream and another thought he could make it work, the irony is no comfort. Not when HMH anticipates yet another round of redundancies.

SNL Flexes Some Literary Muscle

2011-11-13T07:47:00.001-06:00

The Republican debate parody fell flat, as happens so often on a comedy show that cannot hope to dazzle every week.

Running short on humor, the writers turned to a subtle reference, almost an inside joke for the literary set....even if that literary knowledge is derived from a movie.

Did you wonder what was going on when the Mitt Romney character soothed a distraught Rick Perry impersonator with promises of rabbits, only to pull out a gun?

While John Malkovitch may have shone in Hollywood's updated version of a classic film, you can't beat Burgess Meredith and Lon Chaney Jr. For your edification and enjoyment, we present Of Mice And Men.

The Little People Fight Back

2011-11-12T07:54:00.001-06:00

You'd think they'd all be happy to have celebrities in their midst. The beautiful, the famous, the fabulous, jetting in and out, spending lavishly....and the little people get to catch brief glimpses of the stars. How could that not satisfy the little people in their meek little hovels?

It's said that Paris Hilton blew through E300,000 for a single bash at La Voile Rouge, located on the perfect sands of St. Tropez.

Sadly, it looks to have been her last party. The little people, the residents of Ramatuelle have had more than enough and they've shut the place down. All those celebrities with their noisy helicopters and raucous parties and rattling sports cars will have to find somewhere else to go.

For the past eleven years, the non-celebrities of the area complained about the noise. The local town council refused to renew the lease on the beach property as a means of getting rid of a nuisance, but only recently has the court case wound down.

It took eleven years, but the little people of insignificant means who cannot afford the cost of a drink at the bar put an end to a situation that had plagued them.

They had little in their arsenal to fight the vast wealth of the owners, who kept the place open while paying lawyers to fight the town council. Little beyond the power of the law that they, as residents, were able to put into place to protect them from being used and abused by those with financial muscle.

The final appeal was denied this week, and the gendarmes moved in. The club where Bruce Willis danced on the tables is no more. The good people of Ramatuelle have their peace and quiet back.

A Rough Sketch Of A Protagonist

2011-11-11T06:50:00.001-06:00

There has been no shortage of novels about the recent economic crisis lately.

If you want to wallow in the misery of others, and feel a bit better about your own troubles, you can pick up a book and read about the hedge fund manager who's gone bust and finds that his wife only stayed with him for the money and the money's gone and so is she and he's hit rock bottom etc. etc.

Comes a new protagonist for some author's pen. We'll call him Sean.

He's of humble stock, familiar with the trades, and he sees an opportunity to make a bit of cash in the gravel business up in Fermanagh. A good author could instill some tension relating to The Troubles or sectarianism as our Sean finds a little success.

He parlays his gravel pit into cement and from cement he's into construction and that leads to investments in hotels and chemicals and he's rolling in it. The writer composing this little novel would make Sean a gambler, possessed of certain instincts and not averse to risk.

Quite a page-turner in the making, as the protagonist climbs to the top with his wife at his side, raising five children and supporting her man through all the nail-biting. For a good novel, there must be some squabbles with the children, perhaps a little sibling rivalry between Son #1 and Son #2 over who will take over the empire, or whether it's wise to sink so much capital into Anglo Irish Bank.

But a good protagonist needs a tragic flaw, and Sean has grown blinders as the novel progresses.

He believes that the skyrocketing values of real estate will go on forever, that there is nothing but light ahead. Our character invests in hotels and then banks, but he's blind to the shaky foundations that underpin his empire. Like many a gambler, he starts to lose and then throws more money into the kitty, thinking that he'll hit a winning hand on the next deal, or the next.

When he reaches into his pocket to cover his bets, he finds that his pockets are empty and the billions of euro he thought he had have all been pissed away. The writer puts the family into turmoil, a roiling mass of conflicting emotions and anger and pity. Even Sean's business partners, men he'd kept in the dark while he tried to right the sinking ship, turn against him in a bid to save their own skins.

No good novel should end on such a sad note. There must be redemption.

Sean Quinn, our protagonist, was Ireland's richest man. Today he is bankrupt. But all is not over in his story.

Very cleverly, he declared bankruptcy in Northern Ireland, where English law will allow him to go back into business in a year, rather than waiting for twelve years as decreed by Irish law.

For now, he's down. But by God, the man's not out.

Now there's a positive note on which to end our story.

Turmoil With No Refunds

2011-11-09T09:07:00.002-06:00

Ciao, Silvio.

You're stepping down, you've said, for the good of Italy.

Except that Italy is still on the brink of bankruptcy. The near future of the Italian people doesn't sound all that promising. Not with talk of austerity budgets, service cuts, pension cuts and higher taxes.

That sounds like strikes and people protesting in the streets. Would you be insane to even consider traveling to Italy for a vacation in the middle of all that?

What if you've already booked your flight to take advantage of some early-bird discounts? There's no going back. You can't get a refund on what you've already paid, even if turmoil reigns in Rome.

What is the prospect for students studying abroad? The last thing they (or their parents need) is a sudden bout of inflation that raises food prices, an added expense that could blow the budget.

Do you take a chance and plow ahead, make a reservation at the Borghese and hope it's not shut down due to a nationwide strike? Buy a nice new pair of walking shoes suitable for an evening passeggiata and trust to luck?

The money's been spent, the tickets issued, the hotel booked and the deposit paid. You were looking forward to a certain experience, but you might end up living an entirely different way of life than you originally anticipated.

There's no refunds to be had. Stay or go?

Too Much Information

2011-11-08T07:10:00.002-06:00

Ballymascanlon House Hotel

Apparently, those who googled "Ballymascanlon House Hotel" were led to believe the place was on the verge of closing down.

Who'd book a room if there was a chance that room wouldn't be available when needed? Where's a guest to go for a night's sleep?

The problem, as far as the hotel owners are concerned, is all on Google's end, and they've sued the search engine for the misleading data.

The autocomplete feature on the search engine was adding "receivership" to the search terms, which naturally would lead the inquiring party to assume there was something wrong. There's nothing amiss out there in County Louth, but who knows how many potential tourists ticked Ballymascanlon House off their list of potential lodgings.

That's all lost business to the Quinn family who own the property.

They've taken action in the High Court, but like so many other cases involving modern technology, there isn't a set precedent for the courts to follow. It isn't as if Google Ireland set out to cast aspersions on the resort, or that the electronic entity wanted to drive the hotel out of business. More likely, it's the way the program works, and it clearly isn't perfect.

The Quinns would like the courts to make Google fix the bug, which Google didn't do when the Quinns complained in the first place. The judge in the case is forced to drag out proceedings, but only because it's gone off on such a new tack.

There's defamation, to be sure, but is it defamation when a computer randomly inserts words based on something someone might have inquired about when using the service to see if the hotel was definitely still open?

Or is it a case of Google being too lazy to make an adjustment unless forced by law?

The lawsuit may get fast-tracked to the Commercial Court, but there's the risk of setting a dangerous precedent to be considered as well.

Don't expect a quick resolution to the problem, unless Google determines that it is cheaper to fix the glitch in the program than to continue litigating the suit.

History Meets HBO

2011-11-07T07:12:00.001-06:00

So there I was, watching Boardwalk Empire and marvelling at the writing process (every episode has a different writer and each episode has a slightly different flavor because of it) when a reference to one of Ireland's most shameful institutions was tossed out.

There was the character of Margaret, an immigrant who fled from Ireland under a cloud, confronting her unforgiving brother.

From earlier episodes, we all know that she was pregnant and unmarried when she left home, and in the latest installment, we find that her brother and the parish priest all thought that Margaret should have been locked away by the....the Magdalene Sisters?

Close, but no cigar for Howard Korder, Steve Kornacki and Bathsheba Doran.

And those places weren't workhouses. Not at all.

The laundries run by the Sisters of Mercy or the Good Shepherd sisters were little better than jails, in which the period of incarceration was entirely outside the boundaries of the legal system. The women who worked there were slaves.

To gain a true picture of what drove Margaret to steal her mother's savings to escape, a desperate act indeed, read The Leaven of the Pharisees.

You'll gain a different perspective on the character, an insight you might otherwise miss if you're relying on the passing reference made by the dramatists who penned the incident.

And you'll find yourself looking at her interactions with clerics through a different, more informed lens.

Poetry Slam Gets Slammed

2011-11-05T08:05:00.002-05:00

Literary agents love writers who teach creative writing. Look at the author biography on any piece of fiction and you're likely to find a writer who is a professor at some university, teaching others how to write just as well so they, too, can get published.

It's the teaching bit that gets a bit convoluted at times, when the professors exit their ivory towers and venture into the real world.

Denise Duhamel of Florida International University went up to the Bronx to teach a class about poetry to a group of second level students.

That was likely her first mistake, in thinking that teens filled with raging hormones and immature brain wiring would be able to handle a lesson that is suitable for twenty-one-year old MFA candidates.

Along with a colleague, she read words from index cards, and showed the students how a poem might be created. Just words. So harmless. So charming. So charged with meaning.

The teaching team used anti-black and anti-gay words, perhaps to make a point about the power of words. Instead, they gave the students permission to be derogatory and insulting, and the wee little ones took off running through the world of poetry. They, too, took up the cards and created their poems that hurled thunderbolts at the diverse student body for a full thirty minutes.

David Schiller, headmaster, has been using every word at his disposal to apologize for the ensuing debacle. The students are trying to deal with their own involvement, especially those who went along with the mob and read out words that made them uncomfortable, words they knew were insulting to their peers.

Instead of a poetry slam, Ms. Duhamel unleashed a stream of profanity and hate speech, and she truly had no idea it was coming.

Such a bruising introduction to the real world, beyond the lush confines of a Florida college campus. Perhaps it's best to keep them confined in their ivory tower where they can't get into so much mischief.

Downton And Out

2011-11-04T07:17:00.000-05:00

Whoops. Spoiler Alert!

If you're a fan of Downton Abbey, you've been sitting on the edge of your seat, wondering who has died in the great influenza epidemic.

You may have been quite pleased to learn that ITV will be broadcasting a third season of the popular drama. How else would you know who actress Maggie Smith as the Dowager Countess is mourning as the final scene ends?

Due to a slight blunder by ITV yesterday, those who stay on top of such events already know who's not coming back.

By releasing the cast list for the third season, ITV telegraphed the third season's opener in a press release.

Newspapers are not printing the list in the hope that they won't exacerbate the spoilage for those who didn't hear the news. For those of us who don't follow all Downton Abbey events closely, we missed the reveal and we're just as much in the dark about who's gone as we will be after the final episode of season 2 airs on Sunday night.

Keep your ears open. Someone read something, and it will be the talk of the queues and fodder for chatter in offices across the U.K.

Or you can avoid all such talk and just sit on the edge of your seat until Season 3 hits the air. No spoiler in that.

Not Satisfied To Own The Book Market, Amazon Takes On The Library

2011-11-03T07:08:00.000-05:00

With finances stretched beyond their natural limits, more and more readers are turning to the public library for free entertainment.

Not entirely free, of course. Taxes collected from those same people cover the cost of running the library, but there's no added costs involved when you borrow a book and return it on time.

Along those same lines, if you've already signed up for the Amazon Prime program, in essence, you've paid your taxes that cover the cost of borrowing a book from...Amazon.

Yes, that Amazon. The online vendor that has driven many a small brick and mortar to the wall.

Those who pay extra for quicker shipping on their orders can now borrow a book from Amazon and download it to their Kindle.

Only the Kindle, or the new Kindle Fire tablet device. The borrowing program will not work on any other device with a Kindle app. The borrower can keep the book as long as desired, and the book then disappears when another book is borrowed.

That's one book at a time, unlike the public library where you can help yourself.

Libraries aren't overly concerned. Not all their patrons can afford a Kindle, and not many would then cough up another $79 to cover the cost of the Prime program. Besides, libraries have begun lending e-books and the selection is much better than Amazon's offering.

It should come as no surprise that the major publishing houses are NOT participating.

They're in the business of selling books, not letting Amazon pay them a flat fee for use of a copy which gets loaned out to thousands of potential buyers. With Amazon reaping the profits.

The lending idea is too new to know if it will work. Amazon has found many niches where others thought none existed, but how large is the market of voracious readers who could read enough to make the $79 fee cost effective?

And when you can go online to your public library's website and download a book from a bestseller list, why would you bother with Amazon?

Not The Usual Book Tour

2011-11-02T07:04:00.001-05:00

To generate buzz for a new book release, publishers have been known to send the author out on tour, to meet and greet the readers while signing paid copies of print editions.

So how does Houghton Mifflin Harcourt promote a new edition when there is no single author?

The publisher is set to release the latest edition of their American Heritage dictionary, and it doesn't come cheap. At $60, it's more like a long-term investment. But does anyone really need a physical dictionary these days?

You sit down to write an essay and you've got a dictionary within Word. If you set up the program the right way, you'll have your spelling checked as you go along.

HMH is using marketing to get around the way things are getting done. They are going to convince the reading public that they need a dictionary, and they'll do all that with a virtual book tour without a living author.

You can follow the dictionary on Twitter, just like you might follow an author. It will share new words with you. Look, you can expand your vocabulary! You don't need Bill O'Reilly's word of the day after all.

There is a website filled with interactive activities that make words so much more interesting than you might ever have imagined. A word cloud! Let's try it!

The bottom line on the campaign is aimed at households with children. Those who are learning how to read are also building a vocabulary of new words. "Look it up in the dictionary" is an oft-heard phrase when the kiddies run across a word they've never heard before. Armed with a good dictionary, they'll learn the many meanings and even a bit of the nuance that goes along with communication.

For Mom and Dad or their high school-aged offspring, there is an online edition that they can access for free if they've bought the $60 version, or anyone can buy access for around $25.It's the reality of the marketplace these days. Print and digital are both in demand.

We still need dictionaries full of words both common and obscure. It's expensive to compile and verify all those words. HMH is turning to some heavy-duty marketing to get that point across so that they can recoup their investment in the new edition of the American Heritage dictionary.

Notice how it's coming out just in time for holiday gift giving?

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

2011-11-01T07:05:00.003-05:00

A day off from work is always welcome.

You can't control the weather, all you East Coast residents, can you?

So let it snow.

If you have a Kindle, a Nook, a computer or a smart phone, you can spend those leisurely days with the e-book edition of A Terrible Beauty and The Leaven of the Pharisees.

Leave the wintery weather behind and travel in your imagination to an Ireland that was buried under the dust of denial and shame, of heroes forgotten and bravery lost to time.

Books are the ultimate escape from reality, and the a novel can make for a very affordable vacation. So download a copy and get lost in some well-written historical fiction that is far from the snow and downed trees that you can't do anything about anyway.

The Long Slog Through "The Bird Sisters"

2011-10-31T07:07:00.000-05:00

Reading for pleasure is a luxury I have no time for.

If I read a book, it has to serve a purpose. That purpose is one of research.

Who represents? That's the question that matters. Who represents the author who has a book sitting on the shelf at the public library? It doesn't matter what the book is about. All that matters is whether or not there's an acknowledgment page with a literary agent listed.

For that reason alone, I picked up "The Bird Sisters" by Rebecca Rasmussen.

I skimmed through "The Bird Sisters" to get a sense of the plot, and realized that my novel is similarly constructed. Both novels take family stories as the inspiration and then flesh out those bones with an overarching theme of personal sacrifice and redemption.

Surely Michelle Brower would be attracted to something that she's picked up already. Not that my novel is identical, but it's in the same vein.

Can you hear the silence?

That was the response to my query.

Has "The Bird Sisters" been a flop? Was it not the right book to reference in the query?

I must admit, I didn't care for it and wouldn't have kept reading after the first fifty pages if it wasn't for the research I was conducting. Neither have I recommended it to friends, who wouldn't be interested in something that tends to drag along on the uphill climb towards resolution.

The library is full of books, and I'm keeping a list of debut fiction (sparse list there) which I'll nab once the new releases are available for borrowing. As for the manuscript, I've found a publisher on my own.

But I'll keep on writing, and keep on researching who represents whom for future reference. Some fine day, I'd like to be published by a company that has a long reach into the book vending business, a reach powered by financial backing that the small indie publishers can't match.

Seismic Shift

2011-10-29T08:16:00.000-05:00

Long ago and far away, a king wished to divorce his queen so that he could marry a younger woman and father a son. He had a daughter already, but a girl wouldn't do. The people needed a man to lead them, a man to be the head of their army and sitting on the throne.

Divorce wasn't allowed, and the Pope said no way, Hal, you're tied to Kate and no man can put those bonds asunder. So England's Henry VIII quit the church, set up his own faith, got his divorce, and the rest is history.

In spite of the king's declaration, however, there were those who clung to their Catholic faith, and they were persecuted mercilessly for it. Yet no matter how many Catholics were assassinated, there were those too stubborn to give it up.

In the pages of A Terrible Beauty, you'll find glimpses of the vicious retaliation faced by Ireland's Catholic population. The onslaught against Catholicism led to rebellion, repeatedly, and Katie Hanrahan's novel lays out the threats to Queen Victoria's life that led to the lifting of some of the more petty penalties inflicted on Ireland's Catholic population.

The threat of a Catholic coming to power in England was too great a threat to the Anglicans in power, so it was decreed that a Catholic couldn't become king, or marry one, or even get close to any position that would upset the carefully contrived dominance of the Church of England.

Over four hundred years after Henry launched his church, the much reduced United Kingdom has put aside the rules that forbid Catholics from ascending to the throne.

It seems like a seismic shift, but in reality, it's a reflection of modern times.

Few people go to church at all anymore. Religion isn't any sort of issue at all. In short, no one cares. The British monarchy is a charming anachronism, a tourist attraction. So a firstborn girl can become queen while her second born brother has to find other employment. She can marry a Catholic and it won't influence the rights of succession.

A Catholic could sit on the throne once again. That would send Henry VIII spinning in his grave.

America, Meet Ireland's Next President

2011-10-28T06:58:00.000-05:00

Don't confuse the titles of office.

The President of Ireland doesn't have the power that the President of the U.S. has. The Irish version is more symbolic than that, responsible for putting a public face on Ireland when visiting dignitaries come calling.

It was the outgoing President of Ireland, Mary McAleese, who hosted the Queen of England recently when herself visited the former British colony for the first time since the micks threw off those English shackles back in 1916.

Early election results point towards Michael D. Higgins as the next President of Ireland. Who is Michael D. Higgins? The Saw Doctors explain him best.

The Two Dollar Offer

2011-10-27T06:44:00.002-05:00

If I had money to spare, I'd buy shares in Exelon.

The Illinois legislature just granted them permission to raise electric utility rates, supposedly to cover the cost of upgrading to a "smart grid", but it was the shareholders who pushed hard for the right to bypass the Illinois Commerce Commission and its regulatory powers.

Only about $2 more per month, they say, for electricity. Sounds like such a small amount.

And for another $2 per week, if the Chicago Tribune goes along with their latest money-making scheme, I can have an expanded book review section along with my regular delivery.

$2 seems to be the acceptable quantity of choice these days.

For the price of a cup of coffee, subscribers would receive what looks like a magazine. Apparently, those who run the newspaper believe that book reviews, a piece of fiction, lists of bestsellers, and a roster of author appearances is something that people will pay for.

Not enough people are paying for the newspaper, unfortunately. Cost-cutting moves that slashed news reporting and the number of pages printed daily didn't help matters either.

Now the Chicago Tribune is trying to add what was removed, but tack on an additional cost. So instead of paying $390 for a year's worth of news, I would have to pay nearly $500.

The problem is, I'll be paying more for my electricity, and it doesn't take a smart grid to tell me that $2 a month isn't the bottom line figure.

As much as I love books, I won't be taking advantage of the Trib's offer. For a lot less than $2 per week, I can read their book review section at the public library.

The Trickle Down Has Trickled Away

2011-10-26T07:11:00.000-05:00

Anyone fond of books is aware of the steady drip of book shop closures.

You might chalk it up to the decline in the quality of books being published today, with a heavy emphasis on that which will be a blockbuster over that which is a good read.

You can't deny that the troubles being visited on book vendors has a great deal to do with the economy and the overall lack of spare change in the average reader's pocket.

Bookstore owners have to look at any and all cost-cutting measures to survive, and once they've exhausted all options, they'll turn to the property owner and beg a reduction in the monthly rent. After all, space that was once worth a given amount during the boom times isn't worth that much any longer.

For New York's Cooper Union, however, there isn't enough money trickling down from above to trickle down to the owners of St. Mark's Bookshop who came calling with hat in hand.

Bob Contant and Terry McCoy can't keep their doors open and still pay the same rent they've been paying back when the bookstore was flush. The problem is, property owner Cooper Union is equally skint.

For Cooper Union, there is the option of renting the space to someone else who would be willing to pay the price that's been set. The iconic school would then maintain that level of much needed income, and there'd be no need to ask teachers or staff to take a pay cut to make up the difference.

So is there someone else waiting in the wings to take over the space? Given the state of things, it doesn't seem likely.

Being a popular place, St. Mark's Bookshop has turned to its customer base for help, but petitions don't put money in the till. While there's been a slight uptick in sales as people make purchases to help out, such an uptick won't last forever and there's no light at the end of the economic tunnel coming into view just yet.

Somehow, Mr. McCoy and Mr. Contant have to convince the powers that be at Cooper Union that a reduced rent is better than no rent at all, and that's what is most likely to happen if the bookshop has to shut its doors.

Is there no one out there who patronizes St. Mark's Bookshop who can lean on friends or colleagues with some influence at Cooper Union? Some architects or engineers who benefited from the school, and who like to read?

The Fine Art Of Editing

2011-10-25T07:12:00.001-05:00

At Newcastlewest Books, we're getting ready to release our second offering of well-crafted historical fiction. That means editing the manuscript.

As an author, you're probably too close to the novel that you slaved over for months if not years. With the words so deeply imbedded in your brain, it can be difficult to stand back far enough to spot the small flaws that make readers put your book down.

Hence, the need for a third party to come in and read, and search out the problems that spoil the fun for your potential audience.

It's easy enough to write your story, but you may not realize that you've lost the tension somewhere in the middle. An editor can help you spot such things, and point out areas where you need to rewrite a segment. It could be something as minor as adding an additional sentence. It might require a revision of an entire chapter. It could mean cutting out two or three chapters altogether.

So I'll be working on edits today, reviewing the changes that our author has made. We want our readers to keep on turning the page until they get to the end. Such an accomplishment requires effort on our part, but what's the point of publishing something if it isn't done well?

Not something that can be done quickly, but it must be done if the book is to succeed when it's released for the holiday book-buying season.

But Don't Consider The Past Record

2011-10-24T07:18:00.000-05:00

From the same gang of geniuses who gave us the clerical abuse crisis comes the latest plan to fix the world's troubles.

Right, they haven't cleaned up their own house but that doesn't stop the Vatican from chiming in on how to solve the world's economic problems.

The Vatican's department of Justice and Peace has called for a world authority to run everyone's finances. Just like the Catholic Church has one Pope in charge, so too would all the banks and financial institutions be beholden to one central planning committee that would levy taxes on transactions and use the income to make the world a better place.

We all know how well that centralized system has worked for the Holy See.

As you'd expect from the Vatican, the plan berates neo-liberalism and markets and all the other bogeymen that have been called out as the cause of Catholics fleeing from the Church. If you've sat through a few sermons in your lifetime, you'll recognize the oft-repeated litany that accuses us all of greed and hoarding wealth, causing so much unhappiness. Buy more black babies. Donate to the missions until it hurts. Help propagate the faith with your coin.

The poor you have always with you, and whensoever you will, you may do them good.

No, don't pay attention to that bit. Jesus gets in the way sometimes, doesn't he.

And everyone would start going to church of a Sunday and putting some money in the collection basket. The settlements from all the lawsuits brought by abused children is going to bankrupt the Church if the financial picture doesn't improve.

Somehow, it's laughable that the Holy See would develop a global economic plan when it has a long string of failures in its record. Back when the faithful didn't pay much heed to the Pope, he declared that he was infallible and that was the end of dissension.

Wouldn't the world be a better place if the United Nations was running the world's financial markets and they could just speak Ex Cathedra?

Libraries As Luxury

2011-10-22T08:04:00.003-05:00

After the British learned of the fire that burned Chicago to the ground, they sent something that was believed to be essential to civilization.

They sent books. Enough to fill a public library.

Over time, the Chicago Public Library grew as the city grew, with branches added to neighborhoods so that people could have access to books.

These days, it isn't so much the books that people want, but the computers and the shelter and the free after-school care.

Given the high cost of operating so many facilities, it's become impossible to keep them all open and fully staffed. Mayor Rahm Emanuel, a product of the toney suburb of Wilmette, has proposed cuts to the library budget as a way to tackle the city's severe fiscal headaches.

No one wants to see fewer police on the streets, or fewer garbage trucks or fewer pothole repair crews. So what can be bent yet not broken? The library.

A library can function with one librarian instead of three. Not well, but people will have to learn to wait their turn when they have a question or need help locating a book or logging onto a job search on the computer terminal.

Readers can learn to wait for the library to open, so if it means getting in at noon instead of nine a.m. on a Monday morning, they'll have to to deal with the inconvenience.

Sadly, there are fewer and fewer patrons to be inconvenienced. Library usage has been declining year after year. Reading a book for free is no longer seen as the escape that it once was. There's mindless television for that.

The school system in Chicago is failing to crank out educated people. At the rate they're going, there won't be much need for most of the branch libraries at all. After all, if people don't know how to read, they don't have much interest in going to a building that's built expressly to house and distribute reading materials.

That's when the city can realize some real cost savings, but at an expense that can't be calculated on an Excel spreadsheet.

Actions That Speak

2011-10-21T06:47:00.002-05:00

An ongoing battle between religious conservatives and those who think all scientific research is essential has been quietly smoldering.

It will fire up again as the election cycle reaches its peak.

Before the 2012 elections, however, the Vatican is going to take some actions that speak louder than a chorus of bishops singing about the evils of embryonic stem cell creation.

The Vatican is going all out to support research into adult stem cells. It's a case of action that backs up a lot of words.

Look how productive we can be, says the Holy See.

According to Robin Smith, owner of NeoStem, the Vatican will get behind her work on adult stem cells.

By sponsoring conferences on adult stem cell research, assisting with fundraising, and the like, the Catholic Church will actively support a medical field that has put it at odds with many of its members. And it makes sense.

To decry an area of scientific endeavor that could lead to eradication of several serious medical conditions is to sound quite anti-science. On the other hand, stand up for part of that same field and the Church can put its money where its mouth is.

Thus far, it is adult stem cells that have shown the most promise, with embryonic stem cells little more than a scientist's hypothetical dream. By promoting adult stem cell research, the Church can push development and leave the whole concept of fetal stem cell collection in the dust.

It's one way to end the controversy. Developments in the adult stem cell area can lead to more study as scientists build on each other's findings. Meanwhile, fetal stem cell research remains in its infancy (rim shot!) and fades into obscurity.

More than mere decrees from on high, the Church's position on adult stem cell research demonstrates that it isn't anti-science. If anything, it shows that important research can be conducted within the Catholic ethos.

For such a hide-bound institution, it's remarkably forward thinking.

A Smarter Class Of Catholics

2011-10-20T07:11:00.000-05:00

In the middle of the economic crisis, those who keep tabs on the minutiae of life have noted that college-educated workers are less likely to be out of work than their working-class counterparts.

That being the case, it's no surprise that Jim Allister is concerned at the overabundance of Catholics...yes, Papist, popish, Rome-rule Catholics...are taking over Ulster's universities.

As if that wasn't bad enough, there are foreigners taking up spaces that could be used by God-fearing Protestants. Foreigners from...gasp...the Republic of Ireland!

They gave up their guns and they've gone on the attack on another front, a sneak attack that will have devastating implications for the future. "I will be writing the Vice Chancellor" of the University of Ulster, says Mr. Allister. Something must be done to recruit Protestants and defeat the Catholics at their own game.

The Catholics will get all the benefits of a third-level education, and then they'll reap those benefits at the expense of an uneducated Protestant population. Benefits will include such things as important positions in the law and medicine, in politics and executive suites where policy is made.

It's a very slippery slope, with the Protestant overlords sliding to the bottom of the heap. The next step is nearly unthinkable: the unification of Ireland.

Don't think it can't happen. Isn't Martin McGuinness, a Shinner from Northern Ireland, running for the Irish presidency? What do you think he's got on his mind besides the reunion of all thirty-two counties?

Too many Catholics in Ulster's university system is a danger to be addressed, and Mr. Allister is going to attack that problem with every fiber of his Protestant being. After fighting against Catholicism for centuries, he isn't going to sit back and let the Catholics win back their country.

Authors Are Still Writing

2011-10-18T07:01:00.002-05:00

The publishing industry is suffering, along with just about every other industry.

It's refreshing to hear a little note of hope from the Great Lakes Independent Booksellers Association. "Authors are still creating books," said Tom Lowry of Lowry's Books. The book business is still very much alive, even if it isn't kicking with as much force as it once did.

Independent booksellers fell victim to the big box stores and the purchasing power of Amazon. There are fewer of them than there were ten years ago. Not exactly a bright scenario for those still standing.

At their recent conference, the association had to face tough choices to survive. The group's annual trade show will be a combined affair in the future; the need to cut costs means the Great Lakes group will join the Midwest Independent Booksellers in 2012.

GLIBA has made staff cuts as well, to ease the pressure on the bottom line when the organization has fewer members paying dues to keep the doors open.

Dire circumstances, yes, but those who love books can take heart in the knowledge that authors are still writing and publishers are still publishing.

It will be up to the indie vendor to develop a strategy to stand out from the pack, and often that involves outstanding customer service, product tie-ins, readings, and whatever else a shop owner can think of that the big boxes or the online store can't do.

The road is rocky and will continue to be rough in the foreseeable future. But there is a future out there, in a place where authors are still writing and publishers keep putting out books to be read.

Who Needs Gaga When You've Got Bono

2011-10-17T09:36:00.004-05:00

The stars were shining brightly in the Hollywood Bowl this past weekend, and a couple of Irish fellas outshone the flashy Lady Gaga.

Celebrities gathered to celebrate the 65th birthday of the 43rd President, and to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the founding of Bill Clinton's foundation.

Bono wouldn't miss such an occasion.

He's all about fighting poverty in Third World countries, coming as he does from a nation that taught its children to buy as many African babies as possible. Helping those same people is almost part of the man's Irish DNA.

All the good deeds are grand, but the Hollywood elites who donate to such foundations need entertainment to loosen their grip on their cash. The concert at the Hollywood Bowl did not disappoint.

Usher worked the stage with such vigor that he split a seam in his trousers. Lady Gaga did a fine impersonation of the late Marilyn Monroe and sang Happy Birthday to the man of the hour. Mr. Clinton failed to deliver on her heartfelt wish, that he play the sax with her. Sadly, the former President did not come prepared to perform.

But it was at the end of the concert that the crowd got what they'd come for. Bono and the Edge performed an acoustic version of "Sunday, Bloody Sunday", in tribute to Mr. Clinton's efforts all those years ago to bring peace to a divided Ireland.

The close of the concert was the high point of the evening, and what can you expect?

After all, a song like "Born This Way" just doesn't have the impact of a tune that memorializes the massacre of innocent protesters at the hands of the British military, even if the incident is three decades in the past.

Call Judge Judy

2011-10-15T08:16:00.000-05:00

The Presidential race has become a festival of mud-slinging that is carried on RTE for any who care to listen.

Sexual abuse, cover-up and scandal in the quest to make Aras an Uachtarain her home? In the case of Dana Rosemary Scallon, it's time to call on Judge Judy.

It's a family spat at the heart of the latest accusation launched at Presidential candidate Dana. And it's far more than the earlier dust-up over Ms. Scallon's possession of American citizenship and whether or not that disqualifies her from becoming Ireland's President.

This is the stuff that makes up the juiciest bits of Judge Judith Sheindlin's daily television program. Dana and her sister and her brother and her brother-in-law are all in the center of a sexual abuse allegation that's tangled up in the middle of a business spat over Heart Beat LLC.

Ms. Scallon's brother-in-law claims that his daughter was sexually abused by Ms. Scallon's brother, which then led to the legal dispute over the business they were all in jointly. Ms. Scallon says it's all a lie, and if the brother was indeed abusing the niece, why was there never a complaint lodged with the local police department?

The fact that the brother-in-law hired a team of personal injury lawyers to represent his side of the story back in 2008 had my American friends snorting in derision. Ambulance chasers, they said. The carrion crows of the legal profession. Such is the reputation of personal injury lawyers that they would think twice before believing anything such a legal advocate claimed to be true.

Then there's the lack of prosecution for a serious crime. You can almost hear Judge Judy now, tearing into the family who failed to seek justice for their daughter, and comes forward years later to use the accusation as leverage in a squabble over copyright issues.

Involved in a family dispute? The Scallon sisters clearly are. And while they may have agreed to disagree, to never speak again, the dirt's come out from under the rug. Such is the nature of hotly contested political races.

Yet what does Ms. Scallon's brother's purported behavior have to do with Ms. Scallon's ability to represent Ireland to the world?

Nothing at all.

But it makes for good copy. And good television. Call Judy now.

Google This

2011-10-14T07:25:00.001-05:00

While you're out there occupying Dame Street or Wall Street or whatever street you've chosen, google this.

What is a Dutch sandwich with a side of double Irish?

And which major corporation might be making best use of it?

Got your iPhone out? Ready, steady, go.

It's a trick question. The answer is Google.

The Internal Revenue Service is taking a long, hard look at Google's remarkable ability to dodge its "fair share" of corporate taxes by availing itself of the the double Irish.

At question is the legality of a move that was made legal in 2003. As far as the U.S. government is concerned, that deal applied to Google's intellectual property at the time. Any and all things added since then can't be shifted around in a tax dodging shell game. Google googled the issue and the computer says no.

Google Ireland pays licensing fees to Google Ireland Holdings, a subsidiary that is licensed by Google. GIH says its management is in Bermuda, which doesn't tax corporations. Google Ireland Holdings is paid from Google Ireland via a Dutch holding company, thus avoiding the Irish withholding tax. Once Google Ireland deducts its administrative expenses, there's nothing left to be taxed by the Irish Exchequer. Google avoids paying U.S. taxes because the profits are made in Ireland.

Google has pocketed as much as one billion dollars...per year...by avoiding the U.S. corporate tax rate of 35%. They'd like to keep things as they are, naturally, and include their recent acquisition of YouTube under the tax dodging umbrella.

You'll hear politicians speak of a tax holiday, in which corporations like Google can repatriate all those profits they've shuffled around the globe without having to pay that 35%. Something is better than nothing, goes the logic.

Not that Google is the only firm to take advantage of a convoluted tax code that is riddled with loopholes. All the large multinationals are just trying to save a buck and improve their bottom lines. It's a question of what is cheaper, paying or avoiding.

Lower the tax rate to be in line with other countries, and when it's not cost-effective to move money around, the Dutch sandwich will be left on the plate.

Still think it's the big bankers and millionaires and billionaires not paying their "fair share"? The computer says no.

Don't Call It Chinatown

2011-10-13T07:15:00.001-05:00

You want Chinese food in Chicago or New York City or Los Angeles and the first place you think of is Chinatown.

Every major city seems to have an ethnic neighborhood where Chinese immigrants put down roots in American soil. Those neighborhoods retain the Oriental flavor and for many, it's almost like taking a vacation to another land just by going out for dinner.

If you read between the lines and listen with your politically correct ears, you'd guess that the Dublin Civic Trust would like to incorporate a little Chinatown along Parnell Street East.

They're calling it an "oriental enclave", what they'd like to see develop in an area filled with historically significant Georgian buildings that are currently rotting away.

The Dublin Trust would like to see the buildings maintained and restored to their original facades, but the types of low-rent businesses that occupy the storefronts aren't conducive to architectural rehabilitation. There's simply not enough money coming in to spend lavishly on a pretty face.

Why look to ~~Chinatown~~ "oriental enclave"?

That's pretty much what the area is. Asian businesses are keeping the street alive, although not keeping it attractive.

While the Trust would like the Dublin City Council to do its job in policing property usage, it wouldn't mind if the council put some thought into the area's master plan and organized all the Asian bits into one particular area, where Oriental architecture could be utilized to craft a more ethnic-looking enclave.

The significant buildings could be restored to what they once were, without the ethnic-looking signage and illegal uses.

Dubliners and tourists looking for a decent General Tso's chicken would have a place to go, with scenery and facades familiar to residents of other big cities with their own Chinatowns. Anything that brings in foot traffic would improve the area, which would make an investment in a Georgian building (and its subsequent restoration) less of a risk.

Simple enough in concept and not all that difficult to enact.

Just don't be calling it "Chinatown".

Playing To Type

2011-10-12T07:05:00.001-05:00

Or, once a bully, always a bully....

British actor Jamie Waylett is best known for his portrayal of Vincent Crabbe, member of the Draco Malfoy posse in six of the seven Harry Potter films.

He did some of his growing up on a sound stage, busy working at a young age. He portrayed a bully. It seems to have stuck.

Mr. Waylett's very recognizable face turned up on something other than a large screen recently. London police were perusing hours of CCTV footage following the destructive riots last August, and weren't they surprised to see the lad in an unscripted scene.

The former Hogwarts student happened to have a Molotov cocktail in his hand, in the center of a mob.

Petrol bombs being illegal, the actor was arrested. And to add to his difficulties, the police then found a little forest of cannabis plants at the flat he shared with his mother and siblings.

Again, Mr. Waylett was found to be in possession of illegal substances and the charges were elevated. It seems quite insignificant that he was also charged with possession of stolen goods because he was involved in looting a bottle of champagne from Sainsbury's.

Will Jamie Waylett's outstanding portrayal of a bad person work against him when he appears before a magistrate next month? You'd hope the judicial system could look beyond typecasting and deal with the actor in an unbiased way.

Perhaps some psychologists could be called in to testify, to explain Mr. Waylett's behavior as that of a young man who has already reached a peak in his profession and is now lost, like so many other child actors before him.

Surely he made enough money from his work on the Harry Potter series to cover the expense of a stinging fine.

Will J.K. Rowling feel compelled to reach out to someone who put a face to one of her imaginary characters, in an attempt to not have that face associated with crime?

E-Book Reckoning Is At Hand

2011-10-11T07:10:00.001-05:00

The publishing industry is in turmoil because no one knows exactly how to handle e-books and digital rights.

Literary agents attending the Publishers Launch conference in Frankfort, Germany, have let it be known that publishers had best get their act together, for the day of reckoning is at hand.

They're at risk of becoming dinosaurs, those traditional publishers, because they don't know which way the digital world will evolve and they're too slow to move. For that reason, some literary agents have taken over the task of publishing their clients' e-books.

The industry waits for no one. Standing still won't get it done these days.

Like so many other problems, the issue is one of money.

Agents have a vested interest in getting the highest rate of return for their authors, since the agents' commission is larger when the author's royalties are greater.

Traditional publishers want to keep slogging along in their accustomed rut, but everyone knows that e-books are cheaper to produce and distribute. The authors want a bigger piece than has been offered in the past, knowing that the publisher is getting a much bigger piece and who did the actual work to create the book in the first place?

There are those in the old-fashioned print world who see the digital book as a threat and so they shun it. Authors and literary agents see the digital book as a cheap alternative to the hard copy, just as the paperback was the alternative to hardbound books. More people could afford to read when the cost of the book went down, and more books were sold.

Computers are everywhere. Smart phones abound. All have applications for downloading e-books, which means e-books could be distributed everywhere and maybe, just maybe, more people would be tempted to read a book when it's a relatively cheap entertainment.

Until publishers accept such a potential, the literary agents will keep looking out for their authors and handle the e-book rights in a way that yields a maximum payout.

Publishing is changing. If publishers don't take a hard look at their business model and find a way to reimburse authors at mutually acceptable rates, they may lose out to an author whose agent assists in the creation and publication of an e-book where all sales income goes back to the author.

Sooner, rather than later, the publishing houses will have to understand that something would be better than nothing, especially when a printing press and book bindery aren't needed in a paper-free world.

Miss Iceland That's Cold

2011-10-10T07:01:00.000-05:00

On the run for years, mobster Whitey Bulger was done in by Miss Iceland.

A beauty queen turned in the beast.

The arrest of Mr. Bulger has nothing whatsoever to do with beauty or queens or the prettiest woman in Iceland in 1974, but it does make for an attention-grabbing headline.

In reality, it's sheer coincidence.

Anna Bjornsdottir just happened to live near Whitey and his moll. She saw the advertisements that the FBI had placed where women were most likely to see them, in the middle of daytime television programmes.

It didn't take a particularly keen eye to recognize her neighbor whom she'd befriended some years back. Without thinking about her own safety, or the ability of Mr. Bulger to call in former members of his gang to avenge him, she made the phone call.

Today, she's $2 million ahead of the game, the recipient of the award for those who came forward with credible evidence.

Mr. Bulger and his sidekick are in jail, awaiting trial, and there's been not a sound heard from those who once took orders from the purported murderer. After almost two decades on the run, the gang appears to be gone and Mr. Bulger is very much alone.

The former Miss Iceland can live rather well in California on $2 million, well invested to last the rest of her days. She won't have to try to cash in on her sudden fame, but will someone accustomed to the bright lights of the pageant world be able to resist the siren song of the national news programmes when they call asking for an interview?

The Vow Of Poverty Only Goes So Far

2011-10-08T08:15:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's somewhat like the vow of celibacy that priests are expected to make. Eamonn Casey wasn't one to take it literally, and Michael Cleary made a mockery of it.

It shouldn't come as much of a surprise when the whole "vow of poverty: business is equally inconvenient and must be ignored.

Papal Nuncio Giuseppe Leanza is leaving Ireland to take a post in Eastern Europe. Enda Kenny is happy enough to see the cleric's back, considering the fall-out from the Vatican's slap at An Taoiseach after Mr. Kenny pummeled the Holy See for its callous disregard of Irish law in regard to the clerical abuse scandal.

The Vatican's solution to problem clerics has long been the shuffle, and sending Father Leanza to a new post feels like more of the same. The pedophile priests were moved around from parish to parish, sometimes sent from Ireland to America and back again. There must be airline miles saved up that need to be used before they expire.

Farewell, Papal Nuncio, bon voyage and good luck. The Irish bishops have been told that the voyage would be far more bon if they'd all give Father Leanza a little parting gift of 500 euro.

A vow of poverty? Is there really such a thing when we're talking about the so-called "Princes" of the Catholic Church?

Do the math. Twenty-eight bishops times 500 euro equals a great deal of money, and the gift is asked at a time when the forgotten Maggies are seeking some kind of compensation for their years of slave labor that benefitted the Church.

Pick up and read a copy of The Leaven of the Pharisees and you'll understand why the request is more than outrageous.

To date, there's not a dime to be found for the women who toiled without pay in the laundries run by the religious orders. But the bishops are supposed to come up with 14,000 euro as a gift to a Catholic priest who is supposed to shun earthly rewards.

What does he need it for? To donate to his favorite charity?

The Justice for Magdalenes organization could put 14,000 euro to good use. Just a little suggestion, to help mend those fences that were broken to pieces after the Cloyne report was made public.

Qualifications For A President

2011-10-07T07:22:00.001-05:00

We're all aware that the U.S. President has to have been born there and be a citizen of the land.

In Ireland, it's difficult to enforce an equal restriction.

There's Dev, you see.

Parentage uncertain, history never fully explained, but without a doubt the old man was a Yank and didn't he rise up to the top of Irish politics?

So how could it be a problem for former singer and politician Dana (more properly, Dana Rosemary Scanlon) to become President of Ireland?

The issue came up before, when Dana wanted to run for the presidency and she had only just sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States of America.

Or maybe it didn't.

Back in 2008, when Ms. Scanlon took the oath of allegiance to the Stars and Stripes, she and her sister were engaged in a battle over rights to some of Ms. Scanlon's recordings. Words flew in the courtroom, and those words are popping up again now that Ms. Scanlon is in the running.

During bitter testimony, Ms. Scanlon's sister claimed that there was a long discussion about the problem of Dana running for the presidency in 1997, just after becoming an American citizen. Ms. Scanlon doesn't recall any such discussion, and sees no reason to hide her dual citizenship. After all, there was Eamon de Valera at the beginning, and everyone knew his American citizenship kept him from the firing squad at Kilmainham.

Ms. Scanlon sees herself as a dual citizen, her Irish loyalties intact. She says she only votes in Ireland, not America, and isn't that proof of her loyalty? Makes her American citizenship look like some kind of convenience or legal dodge, coming as it did while she was warring with her sister over those recordings.

And no, she doesn't recall the part of the oath that all new U.S. citizens take, renouncing allegiance to all other foreign lands. That includes Ireland, sad to say.

It's up to the Irish voters, in the end, but chances are, one of the many candidates will make a fuss over the dual citizenship thing in an effort to get ahead.

Pity that Ms. Scanlon can't take the de Valera analogy a step further and point to her Irish Republican Army support...no, wait, that's Martin McGuinness coming under fire for that one.

Commemorating The Link Between Writing And Drink

2011-10-06T07:09:00.001-05:00

An Post has just commemorated the great Irish writer Flann O'Brien by issuing a stamp with his likeness to decorate your mail.

No greater honor?

The Palace Bar has gone one better, topping the postal service.

The favored pub of writers from The Irish Times has placed the image of Mr. O'Brien into the footpath outside the front door.

Now that's permanence. That is genuine honor.

The bronze plaque is one of four that pays tribute to the likes of Brendan Behan (died of the drink), poet Patrick Kavanagh, and sports writer Con Houlihan, every one a patron of the establishment.

Writers have long been associated with alcohol, and the unveiling of the plaques serves to reinforce the belief that alcohol is often the inspiration behind some of the world's greatest literature.

Where's there alcohol, there's often a bar, the place where writers could congregate before there was an "online community." The bar was the place to come together, to share ideas, talk over stories or perhaps find a hint of a plot in need of fleshing out.

Now bar owner Willie Ahern has set four reminders out front, as much to celebrate his pub's important position in Ireland's literary history as to draw in paying customers who might wonder about those four bronze faces that they nearly stepped on.

A stamp?

After it's issued and sold through, it's gone but for the few stamp collectors still in existence.

But bronze?

Now that's something that will last, to be seen by countless drunks stumbling along the road, heads down as they watch for trip hazards.

Agency Merger Du Jour

2011-10-05T07:04:00.000-05:00

Literary agents come and literary agents go and then they decide that size does matter.

What does all that mean?

Jason Allen Ashlock left a big agency to start his own firm, taking along a couple of other agents and their clients.

Thus was born the Movable Type literary agency.

Adam Chromy ran a small agency that had two other agents at his side, most of the time. You see, agents come but they also go when they abandon the business or get a better paying job elsewhere in publishing.

Businesses have fixed costs, and if you merge two companies, you can cut those costs down to size if they're too gargantuan. In addition, if staff leaves and takes clients with them, it becomes more difficult to meet costs of any type.

Thus is born Movable Type Management.

Agents Ashlock and Chromy have merged into one entity, and those who follow the literary agency roster will notice that former Movable Type-sters Meredith Dawson and Rachel Vogel are not on the team.

That's not all that's changed.

At one time, Movable Type wasn't interested in a query letter. They wanted the opening pages of the novel for their consideration, believing that the writing was important. Not all authors are marketing gurus who can pen good sales copy.

This time around, there's an online form to be filled in. You'll be needing a proper query letter in future.

So fire away with your queries. Often, a fresh start can inspire a literary agent to feel the pressure to take on and sell some new manuscripts. It could be yours. You won't know unless you give it a go.

At Public Expense When The Money Is Gone

2011-10-04T06:44:00.002-05:00

Often, they are mentally ill but capable of functioning on their own. And they die alone, surrounded by neighbors who don't know them. Next of kin? Who could say?

The Cook County Morgue is responsible for handling the dead bodies of those who have no next of kin, no estate to pay for burial, or no known identity.

In the past, when there was money in the system, the morgue would store the bodies and hope that someone would notice a relative had gone missing.

At the end of a year, unclaimed remains were crated up in cheap pine boxes, loaded into a truck, and carted off to a mass grave which the Cook County taxpayers funded.

No one put a lot of effort into noting the exact location of each individual corpse, so if relatives did turn up much later, it was highly likely that their dear departed's body wouldn't be found. If the Cook County Sheriff wished to claim a body for a criminal investigation, well, good luck with that.

Like everyplace else, Cook County is out of cash and looking at ways to save money.

The unclaimed dead aren't going to complain.

From now on, bodies stored in the morgue for two weeks are going to be donated to the Anatomical Gift Association. Medical students, student nurses, and the like, will dissect the bodies and further their education.

At the end of the anatomy class, the unclaimed pieces will be cremated and buried, all on the Anatomical Gift Association's dime.

How much will this tactic save the county?

It's hard to say, because bodies that are decomposed, over three hundred pounds, or HIV-positive can't be used.

Many of the elderly who die alone are not found for days or weeks, their passing often noted by the unpleasant scent of decomposition. Drug addicts who are discovered in abandoned buildings aren't likely to be sliced and diced by future doctors either. As many as 60% of the bodies brought to the morgue are autopsied, and those are useless for anatomical study.

Oddly enough, the Sheriff's complaint about bodies buried without sufficient documentation isn't going to improve when all he might be able to recover is a small box filled with ashes.

But the County will save the taxpayers at least some of the expense of burying the dead who have no known relatives, as long as those indigent few have the decency to not be obese, and die someplace where their corpses can be quickly recovered, the cause of death obvious.

To think that the study of human anatomy once relied on grave-robbing. Now the county can't even afford the grave.

Competing For The E-Book Rights

2011-10-03T06:57:00.000-05:00

Not sure where the future of e-books would be, several literary agents became publishers of a sort when they expanded their business model into the production and promotion of their clients' e-books.

As you might have guessed, the traditional publishers couldn't help but notice and they've started to poke their wee heads over the parapet and launched a counter-attack.

Perseus Books will now help authors self-publish their titles electronically. Take that, literary agents who dared to leave the safety of their defined tasks.

In fact, an author wishing to use the Perseus service must be represented by an agent who's already signed an agreement with Perseus. That's one way to undercut the agents who have gone off on their own. Now there's a publisher that's willing to do the heavy lifting on the e-book front, so if an agent were thinking of doing it themselves, they won't have to.

Whether it's the literary agent or Perseus doing the publishing, the idea is the same. Authors have books that the traditional publishers don't want because they're not blockbusters and the author wants the work out there so that the public can decide if it's worth a read. There's backlist offerings where the rights have reverted to the author, and why not make a book available if it's gone out of print? Someone, or several someones, might be interested, and it makes no sense to miss out on additional sales.

With a marketing department already in place, Perseus is well positioned to handle the promotion end of things, just as publishers have always done. Little wonder that Janklow & Nesbit has signed up, with Curtis Browne not far behind.

The competition between the literary agent and the publisher is forming up sides. Who knows which direction the publishing industry will take?

A Plot For A Financial Thriller

2011-10-01T08:16:00.000-05:00

You can't make up stuff like this, so you might as well take it and use it as the plot for that thriller you've been longing to write.

I'd do it myself, but I'm not familiar with the genre and I'd hate to spoil a good story with poor pacing or a style that would give away too much too soon.

The story is set in the recent past, during the height of the property boom. Everyone is keen on making big money on land, buildings and rents. Banks are keen to throw money at investors.

Two men cook up a little scheme to get their hands on some of that cash. If you're inclined to think Ocean's Eleven, you'd make the narrator one of the clever lads. On the other hand, you could use some wonky bank investigator as your hero and put him to the task of tracking down the bank's assets.

Achilleas Kallakis (as played by George Clooney, perhaps?) and Alexander Williams (Brad Pitt comes to mind) were able to convince authorities at Allied Irish Bank to lend them E850 million to purchase an office block in London's Euston Road.

Who is backing them, the bank asks. Why, Chinese property giant Sun Hung Kai Properties are guaranteeing the loan. A Chinese firm? The two gentlemen making the request are as Caucasian as can be. The bankers become suspicious.

Enter Jonathan Lee, suitably Asian, who brings in documents with solicitors' stamps that attest to the veracity of the guarantees.

The trio take the money, buy the property, and party hearty on the excess. They came away with a couple of million euro to fund a very lavish lifestyle.

Where it gets difficult to explain as an author is the part where the perps set up a shadow company to buy the property, and then set up another that was said to be a branch of SHKP which was renting the property. You, the author, have to make it realistic enough to be convincing or the reader won't keep turning the page.

Your bank investigator hero comes into play at this point, demanding further guarantees on the rents and loan repayment. The scammers then create yet another shadow company but the persistant examiner trips them up when they can't produce concrete evidence of the firm's assets.

Somewhere in there, you'll want to insert a Julia Roberts character who comes to find that her beloved was lifting cash to buy her love, or some such plot device that creates a touch of romance.

Not that such an element has emerged in court, where Mr. Kallakis and Mr. Williams are on trial for fraud, but a well-written novel requires more than the cold, hard facts.

It's one thing for the men in the dock to insist they believed that the forged documents were real. It's far more intriguing if one of them has a compelling reason to commit such a huge and complex crime.

Now go write that novel. Don't forget to leave room for a sequel.

Marketing To The Grunge Set

2011-09-30T07:01:00.000-05:00

Publisher William Morrow does not believe the popular wisdom that the young don't read.

They've put down good money on Courtney Love's memoirs, and if you're part of the largest book-buying demographic, you don't know who she is. Or much care.

No, the HarperCollins imprint is counting on your children and their children to snap up copies.

Wags are already cracking wise. It's doubtful, they say, that Ms. Love recalls much of anything from her drug-fueled past.

Literary agent David Vigliano was able to sell the idea, not the manuscript. Ms. Love will be working with Anthony Bozza, who you'd expect to be the one to do all the writing while Ms. Love sifts through her memories.

Like any memoir, there must be something new, and shocking, to be revealed or readers won't bother. Those who know of Ms. Love already know a great deal about her. What they'll pay for is honest insight into what was happening when her husband, Kurt Cobain, spiraled into a depression so deep that he blew his brains out.

It won't take long for reviewers to reveal what fresh gossip lies within the pages of the memoir once it's released. If the suicide angle is explored, it's likely the book will be a best-seller. Otherwise, it's just another celebrity tell-not-quite-all, and that's a tough sell to a generation that doesn't read.

Charity Begins At Home

2011-09-29T22:18:00.003-05:00

So many people are going hungry. Food pantries can't keep up with demand. Everywhere, those who can afford it are asked to donate.

In the face of so much need, does it make sense that a charitable organization providing food at a deep discount would go out of business?

That's why Angel Food Ministries' excuse doesn't pass the laugh test.

The organization was founded seventeen years ago by Pastor Wesley Joseph Wingo. His goal, or so he claimed, was to distribute cheap food to those in need through various church-run food pantries.

Headquartered in Georgia, Pastor Wingo and his family ran the operation, in which boxes of food were sold at a steep discount. Churches participating in the program were paid $1 per box, and Angel Food Ministries claims they distributed around 4 million boxes in 2009 alone.

With that kind of volume, how could they go wrong?

It was a case of charity beginning at home. In this case, it was Pastor Wingo's home.

He was paid a substantial salary, over $600,000 per year. His family was on the payroll as well, at a cost of a couple of million dollars in 2006.

There's only so much money to go around and the dollars didn't seem to get farther than a Wingo pocket. And let us not forget the loans that Mr. Wingo took out when his salary didn't stretch far enough to meet his needs.

Hard to believe this is a charity we're talking about, unless Mr. Wingo was the charitable cause at the heart of Angel Food Ministries, and the food bank was so much fluff to hide his extravagance. The fact that the Wingos charged $850,000 in personal goods and services to the charity's credit card doesn't fit the charity scenario, which is why board members sued the family in 2009.

Angel Food Ministries has shut its doors and those who relied on the food program will have to look elsewhere.

They are "heartbroken to have to cease operations", but if you had a brilliant scam going, you'd be heartbroken too when it all fell apart.

In the meantime, the FBI is looking closely at Angel Food Ministries.

They don't seem to be buying the line about tough economic times and rising food prices and high fuel costs and a decline in sales as the root cause of Angel Food Ministries' demise. Not when the Wingo family benefited so richly from what was supposed to be a non-profit designed to help others, rather than themselves.

It Takes Controversy To Sell Through

2011-09-29T06:56:00.002-05:00

Publishers put books into stores with a plan to sell them. They aren't much interested in biographies that won't provide a decent profit.

Those who knew Walter Payton claim that a new book about his private life is nothing more than a bid to make a lot of money at a legend's expense. That's not far off the mark.

What the average fan knows of Walter Payton is the surface of a man. There are those who can spout statistics, who can recall a given run or a particular touchdown.

Jeff Pearlman went far below that surface, down into the realm of things that were considered private at the time. This is the age of social media. Nothing is private any more. His book is stirring up controversy, and that controversy will be used by the marketing department at Gotham to push sales.

Who knew that a running back with such gifts was not the great hero the fans thought he was?

It's all there, put down on paper where the seamy underside of Walter Payton's existence will live on forever, long after his accomplishments are overshadowed by some other great athlete.

The facts that Mr. Pearlman uncovered in his research will become fodder for gossip, stories traded in offices and bars across the city. Talk will turn into sales, as those who can't believe what they hear will want to read all about it, in a book that must be reporting the truth because no publisher would risk a lawsuit.

A book tour will no doubt be arranged, so that Mr. Pearlman can plug his tome and gin up the controversy. The Payton family may experience some discomfort at the sight of all their dirty laundry being aired, but there's money to be made.

Walter Payton was a normal human being who was put on a pedestal because he had certain physical gifts. Jeff Pearlman has exposed the feet of clay holding up the hero.

He's doing a good deed, by reminding us that the athletes we so admire are merely human.

It keeps things in perspective.

What troubles us is not that Walter Payton was flawed, but that someone is making a lot of money off the exposing of those flaws. Remember, it's not personal. It's business.

New Fishermen Trawling For A Big Catch

2011-09-28T16:19:00.000-05:00

John Paulson gobbled up the whale-swallowing minnow after Barry O'Callaghan choked on his venture.

If you believe the stories being floated by the Wall Street Journal, Mr. Paulson is gasping for air, and Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Riverdeep Greenwood et al. is about to be floated out to sea once again.

The hedge fund manager is facing losses, they say. Who wouldn't be facing losses? The market is in a tailspin, Greece is about to default on its debt, the banks holding that debt are going to take a hit, and so the house of cards tumbles.

Something has to be sold to ease the pressure. Or, in Mr. O'Callaghan's term, synergies have to be realized.

The educational publishing materials whale that Barry O'Callaghan created is deep in debt, but it has a chance of surviving. No thanks to the Irish boy wonder, but it's the people who work in the cubicles at HMH that are keeping the place afloat.

The downside to all that effort is a respectable prospectus, and the sharks circling Mr. Paulson's hedge fund investments are hungry for choice bits of chum that are about to be pitched over the side to keep Mr. Paulson from sinking.

God help the employees of HMH.

Once again, their futures are in turmoil as they await the outcome. HMH could be sold for parts. It could be sold as a going venture, perhaps picked up by another hedge fund with an interest in educational materials. Paulson may hold on to the company, hoping that it can generate revenues to finance his mistakes. There's no predicting the ultimate outcome.

Not a pleasant scenario when you'd like to know for certain that you'll be able to pay your mortgage and put food on the table in the near future.

Bites Out Of The Apple

2011-09-28T06:56:00.003-05:00

First was the Kindle, a tablet device that did nothing more than act like a book.

Then came Apple's engineers with a tablet that was much more like a netbook, but it also could be a book if you had the right app.

Not to be outdone, Amazon is about to introduce their version of the iPad.

What's going to be so special about Amazon's product? What will set it apart from Apple's offering?

Price, for one.

Amazon is famous for their deep discounts, and the word on the street has the Amazon pad device retailing at around $300. Cheaper than the competition, yes, but does it do as much?

If you're a fan of streaming video and the television offerings of Fox, you'd be quick to buy Amazon's tablet rather than an iPad. Amazon Prime thrown in to the deal, so if you're a huge Amazon user, it could be a plus.

Still not enough to get you to stop considering Apple products?

The upgraded Kindle will maintain its function as an e-reader, which is what Amazon's devices do better than the rest. Whether or not it will match the variety of apps available for the iPad remains to be seen.

Then there's the current economic climate to consider, and it isn't pretty.

If you need a tablet device and don't have much money, you might consider Barnes & Noble's Nook, which allows for Internet surfing at a lower price. If you're desperate for a tablet, you might consider Amazon's cheaper alternative to the iPad, but much will depend on the style points that will set the two devices apart. If Apple is seen as far superior, not everyone will settle based on cost.

If you're really looking to save money, however, you might consider buying a netbook.

While it's a bit more expensive than a tablet device, it does so much more that there's no comparison. It just doesn't look as cool.

But when you want functionality and a bigger return on your investment, is 'cool' worth anything?

Yet Another New Agency Opens Its Doors

2011-09-27T10:05:00.002-05:00

If books were really dead, you wouldn't expect a literary agent to take such a huge financial leap as to open a new agency.

So books aren't quite dead yet.

Formerly of the Margaret McBride agency, Annie Bomke has opened her doors to submissions.

As a new agent taking on the expenses of her own business, it's a good bet that Ms. Bomke will be more open to signing up new clients than someone more fully established.

In other words, this is one to jump on if you're a writer of most anything besides children's books or poetry.

Submission requirements are simple and straightforward, and electronic.

Fire away. These sorts of opportunities don't come along often.

Not A Publisher, Just An E-Book Producer

2011-09-26T23:05:00.000-05:00

One after another, the literary agencies fall.

Latest to the e-book party is mega-agency Trident Media Group, in spite of Robert Gottlieb's earlier lack of enthusiasm for the concept of literary agents acting as publishers.

How does one square this change of position? Mr. Gottlieb says that Trident Media isn't a publisher. They're only helping their authors publish electronically. Trident E-Book Operations is going to be a separate entity within the agency, charged with aiding clients in managing their electronic versions.

One way they might manage e-books is by threatening the traditional publisher with keeping the digital rights unless the author gets a sizeable royalty in exchange. Pay up, or the author walks, and walks right into the E-Book Operations office where Trident Media employees can handle formatting, cover art, and distribution.

You want distribution? Anyone can use Smashwords, Kindle Direct or Barnes & Noble's PubIt, and cover all the formatting options without breaking a sweat. Trident's clients don't really need the traditional publisher for the digital edition, and the traditional publishers know it.

According to Mr. Gottlieb, Trident's version of the literary agency as publisher is different because they have an entire department dedicated to e-book production. It's not just the agent doing the work. It's a unit of this very large agency.

Nice image, but in the end, it's another case of a literary agency joining a growing trend, and joining in a hurry in case the trend becomes the norm and they don't want to be left behind.

What can the major publishers do?

Either pay more for digital rights, or watch the agents see to it that their clients reap the greater financial rewards that mean a bigger profit margin line for the agency.

After all, 15% of $10,000 is greater than 15% of $100, and you don't have to be a maths genius to realize that.

Fake Recommendations Or Real Advice

2011-09-26T09:03:00.000-05:00

With a trip to Paris booked in part (we have a hotel), at some point we have to deal with restaurants.

Obviously, a traveler has to eat and who wouldn't want to get the most for their euro?

And considering the fact that we don't have an unlimited stash of euro to draw on, we're especially keen on value for price.

Did you look at TripAdvisor, friends asked when we mentioned our quandary. Crowd-sourced reviews to be had in plenty, comments and star-ratings and where better to find what's best.

Except that the reviews might be faked and the comments posted by the establishment to boost sales. Or a rival might have rigged the stars to hurt his competition and you'd be missing something grand.

Businesses in England have launched a counter-attack, making a complaint with the Advertising Standards Agency.

How can anyone trust a review if the reviewer isn't first vetted? TripAdvisor claims they possess reviews you can trust, but that's false (and illegal) advertising because it isn't quite true.

There's a possibility that TripAdvisor might be taken to court in the U.S. on the same grounds, that they're promising something they can't possibly deliver, unless they somehow vet each and every reviewer who posts a comment on the site. Not likely to happen, given the vast number of users who've put in their opinion.

So can I trust a TripAdvisor recommendation for a restaurant or not? Will I be falling for a scheme by an overpriced, untalented chef to rope in the gullible? Or will I really be steered to some undiscovered gem in a quiet corner of the Marais district?

No surprise that the Brits liked to haul around a supply of digestive biscuits on their Grand Tours. They had no idea where to find a decent meal, either.

And Authors Everywhere Second The Motion

2011-09-23T07:07:00.000-05:00

In an interview in today's Irish Independent, best-selling author Roddy Doyle issues a simple and heartfelt plea.

He's wishing that more middle-aged men would buy books, and by default, read them.

Authors everywhere second the motion.

As a businessman, you'd expect Mr. Doyle to push his product whenever possible, but there's more than that behind his frustration.

The notion of reading as a pleasurable way to spend some time is getting lost amid a mass of competing distractions that don't add to a person's personal growth. Grand that you're the Halo champion, but you learn nothing substantial by pushing buttons repeatedly on a control device.

Reading opens up new worlds, exposes the reader to new ideas, and often provides the reader a few hours of escape from the world's troubles.

Sure the author uses imagination to craft the novel, but the reader has to use imagination to envision what is presented in words. And while existing in that imaginary world, the stock market tumbling or the stack of past-due bills ceases to exist for a few precious minutes.

Support an author. Support your local independent book vendor. Go buy a book. Read.

All Men Are Create Equal But Commissioners Are More Equal Than Others

2011-09-22T06:46:00.002-05:00

Things aren't as bad as they were in the 1930's, when there wasn't enough money in the coffers to pay public employees.

That being the case, Cook County's governing board realized that, while they couldn't afford full salaries, they could still meet payroll if everyone took some unpaid days off.

Everyone except them, of course.

It's their job to ask others to sacrifice, isn't it?

Earlean Collins was fine with asking others to sacrifice, but how could anyone expect her to give up so much as one cent of her $85,000 annual salary. Commissioner Deborah Sims is outraged over the very idea.

As Ms. Sims has pointed out, she could be getting her full salary with no problem if there hadn't been such a public outcry over the sales tax increase that was levied by the previous administration.

The little people, the peasants, should be happy to pay 10% tax on every purchase, just so Ms. Sims can continue to be paid in full. Why, if they'd just shut up and hand over the cash, Cook County wouldn't have to be cutting its budget and, well, struggling.

It's so common, all that struggling. So vulgar.

County County Board President Toni Preckwinkle is trying very hard to be the adult in the room, speaking of shared sacrifice just like President Obama.

But you see, those who share the sacrifice aren't meant to be those at the top, the ones who are more equal than others. She'll make no headway with the five commissioners who are standing on a statute that prevents pay cuts for lawmakers in the middle of their term. They're standing on principle.

The principle that five Cook County commissioners are more equal than those they were elected to serve.

It's Australian For Mega-Merger

2011-09-21T06:50:00.003-05:00

In an ongoing attempt to create a brand that is global for beer, SABMiller is about to buy up Foster's.

Sic semper the oil can.

SABMiller is the only major brewer left with enough money to finance the merger. All the other big names, like Anheuser-Busch InBev, are skint after buying up other smaller breweries.

The maker of Italy's Peroni and Milwaukee's Miller High Life will soon become Australia's beer provider. If they have their way, there will come a day when you won't be able to walk into a bar anywhere in the world and buy something other than a SABMiller product.

Foster's shareholders could still block the deal, if they're more inclined to maintain Foster's as Australian for beer than to reap a hefty profit on their holdings.

Such a scenario, however, is unlikely.

With the global economy on the decline, beer sales have followed. No one has the money for a pint, much less an enormous can full of liquid Prozac.

Indeed, Foster's has pulled back from its own heady days of acquiring smaller rivals, and it off-loaded its wine business some time back when profits were heading in the wrong direction.

Just a matter of time, then, before Foster's becomes Australian for SABMiller's long reach around the globe.

How much longer before all the beers start to taste the same, as one mighty behemoth brewer seeks to reduce overhead by making the same thing at multiple locations to better reduce costs?

A Black Eye For Freelance Writers

2011-09-20T07:17:00.002-05:00

What could be simpler than hiring a freelance writer to pen an ode to the many treasures held by the National Library of Ireland?

The staff members put in charge of the project took the first step, by advertising the job offering. After that, it was a disaster that has cost the hard-pressed Irish taxpayers nearly E100,000.

A cynic would say that the staff member who was supposed to review freelance submissions intended to hand the job off to a friend who needed work, because there's no evidence that anyone evaluated the writer who was hired. There's no evidence that anyone evaluated the three submissions that were rejected, either.

The money was spent and the book that was ultimately produced was found to be so riddled with errors that it had to be pulled.

On the surface, it's a black eye for freelance writers, a professional group of underpaid but highly skilled wordsmiths who understand the importance of getting it right. An expensive tome that turned out to be a complete waste of money reflects badly on those who research what they write, and then go back and check it all again.

You would think that a group of bureaucrats who deal with books and the written word all day would have a better understanding of how the freelance writing process works. Once again, the bureaucrats have proved us wrong.

It wasn't the writer's fault that the contract was flawed and the library board failed to oversee the project in any way. Even so, it's the freelancer who looks like the culprit in a scheme to defraud the National Library.

The library has learned its lesson and in future will have a clear contract in place before paying for freelance work. Little things, like deciding in advance how the book will be proof-read, must be settled before the next check is cut to a freelance writer.

And more than one person is going to doing the vetting. Just, you know, to keep things honest.